BRISTOL PALIN TO POSE TOPLESS

ALL PROCEEDS WILL GO TO HERSELF




Bristol voted “Best Chest in Alaska” will
begin topless modeling career

(March 12, Wasilla, Alaska) What’s a busty, young, single mom of a former Vice Presidential candidate to do? Well, Bristol Palin, the stacked daughter of Alaska’s Republican Governor, Sarah Palin, has apparently found her own means of financial support: she will pose topless for a variety of men’s magazines. It seems that Bristol’s taste of the wider world beyond her small Alaska town while campaigning with her Mom has left her eager for fame and fortune. In the meantime she will bare her beautiful breasts. “My mom thinks it’s great. By making money this way I am essentially starting a small business. It is capitalism”, said the chesty young wonder.

For her part the Governor is indeed supportive of her daughter’s modeling pursuits. “You betcha I’m behind Bristol all the way. Don’t ya forget now it was by entering beauty pageants myself that got me the exposure I needed. Now look, I am the Governor of the great state of Alaska and, by golly, I was almost Vice President of these United States.”

According to Bristol’s agent, Reno Slimebahlski, offers for Bristol to model topless began pouring in immediately after she began appearing at campaign stops with her Mom. “After being seen of TV by so many people during the Republican National Convention, Bristol was contacted by dozens of men's magazines especially those that cater to big breast fans. She was, at first a little reserved about the idea but, since she broke up with her high school drop out boyfriend, Levi, she is eager to show the world what she’s got up top,” commented Slimebahlski.




Bristol 38 DD

Bristol is scheduled for several photo shoots in the next few weeks. Jack DePalma, publisher of “Score”, “Voluptuous”, and other men's magazines says that “She has the potential to be bigger than Topsy Curvy, Melissa Mounds, Pandora Peaks, Jessica Juggs and Twin Towers. Her natural beauty and big boobies will make her an instant star. She has a fortune riding on her chest and she should capitalize on it.”

Bristol is eager to begin her modeling career. Her new born son will be tended to by her Mom and Dad while she flies to Los Angeles and Miami for photo shoots. She told the Anchorage Gazette that, “Ever since I grew boobies the boys have gone wild over me. I figure, like, why not make some money showing them off? I know I have great tits and I know there is a market for tits like mine. Who knows, it might even help me get a career in politics or something”




Soon to be Miss July on the cover of Juggs Magazine

The Republican National Committee has already taken notice of Bristol’s assets and anticipate using her photos in some fund raising campaigns. “If we put a topless picture of Bristol Palin on the front of our donation mailers I bet we’d haul in some serious bucks,” said an enthusiastic GOP Chairman, Michael Steele. He continued, “We think that once men see Bristol and all she has to offer and they realize she is a Republican, I believe our troubles as a Party might be over. She has certainly raised more than my spirits and I bet she’ll do the same for many male members of our Party.”



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/11/bristol-levi-split-up-rep_n_173917.html

http://www.tmz.com/2009/03/11/bailin-palin-bristol-dumps-levi/

http://www.usnews.com/blogs/letters-to-the-editor/2009/03/13/bristol-palins-plight-abstinence-teen-pregnancy-and-conservatives.html

Copyright TBC 2009 © All Rights Reserved

STEELE FILLS TOP POSTS

NEW FACES AT THE RNC




MC HAMMER AND VANILLA ICE TOP EXECS AT THE GOP


(March 12, Washington, DC) Touting his efforts to broaden the appeal of the Republican Party, embattled GOP Chairman Michael Steele has named two former rap one hit wonders to his Executive Committee. Steele has expressed his desire to give the impression that the Republican Party is inclusive and not the refuge for white, southern men, conservative oddballs, the NRA and other hard core fringe groups. He promised to make it more, “hip-hop, urban, suburban” with an emphasis on political “bling”. His staffing picks announced today may in fact help him accomplish his outreach to a younger generation of potential Republicans or it may only accelerate his departure from his current job.

Steele really had to dig deep in the greasy barrel of forgotten rappers or pseudo-rappers. Most of the big names in rap that he initially approached told him to fuck off or simply get lost. Chairman Steel had met with famous gangsta rappers like Snoop Doggy Dog, Fifty Cent, Eminem and Will Smith. He was rebuffed and ridiculed by them all and others not named here. Desperate to prove his Party is “down with wuz up on da streets”, Steele enthusiastically introduced his two top appointees here today.

MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice, coming off there widely successful concert tour that lasted one night in Orem Utah, will play key roles in the GOP’s outreach initiatives. During a news conference held at Big Slappy Pappy’s, a hip-hop bar, bordello and hair styling mecca in northwest Washington, DC, Steele enthusiastically told reporters that, “I am delighted to have MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice on board at the GOP. I think they are jus’ B A D. We gonna hit da streets and git with the brothas and sistas. We wants to know wut dey sayin’, wut dey sayin’ and wut dey think of the stimulus package.”

Since his razor thin margin of victory in his bid to be Party Chairman last month, Steel has been embroiled in a continuous series of controversies, gaffes, miscues and finds himself literally fighting to hold on to his job. The GOP will hold a “no confidence” vote in two weeks that will determine the Chairman’s fate. “ I’m confident that I will prevail, hold onto my job and will be able to lead the Republican Party out of the depths of despair after getting our asses whupped last November, to a new and brighter future. What the base of the GOP is going to have to understand is that our future will be Blacker as it gets brighter” Steele commented.

The Republican’s appear to be in disarray since the inauguration of President Obama. They find themselves in the minority in both Houses of Congress and have long been known to not be at all receptive or supportive of policy initiatives that concern African Americans, Latinos, Hip-Hoper’s, Gang Bangers, Low Riders, Side Winders and Gay-Lesbian-Bi, Tri, and Multi-Sexuals and other special interest groups long affiliated with the Democratic Party. Perhaps Steele’s new Executive Committee members will play significant roles towards making inroads with inner city and minority voters. Naming MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice to his staff has generated a variety of responses from across the political spectrum. Some top ranking members of his own Party, already at odds with him, have come out strongly in opposition to Mr. Hammer and Mr. Ice.

Senate Minority Leader, Mitch “Little Bitch” McConnell said, “I don’t know what exactly the Chairman is planning but, it seems to me that he has lost his mind. Who are these people he has appointed? Frankly, I am confused and I will be demanding answers from Mr. Steele immediately.” Conservative radio blowhard Rush Limbaugh who has been feuding with Mr. Steele for weeks over the actual leadership of the GOP, told his talk show audience that, “Steele thinks that the Republicans, the Party of Barry Goldwater, Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan actually needs to attract voters who are not gun-toting, southern, midwestern, God fearing, rock ribbed conservatives. I say that is hogwash. I say that is crap and I think Steele has to go. The last thing we need in the Republican Party are Blacks, Hispanics and other misfit, low lifes.”

When Steele was informed about McConnell’s and Limbaugh’s harsh comments he replied, “Listen, y’all. Those two morons can kiss my black ass. They are the reason that the Republican Party is dying. Those two honky, cracker, muthafuckas deserve to get they asses kicked. People like them don’t know wuts goin’ down in the ‘hoods with the real people. I say they can both go fuck themselves and each other. Mitch, bein’ from Kentucky, would probably enjoy that.”



http://blogs.courant.com/stan_simpson/2009/03/michael-steeles-gop.html

http://www.nydailynews.com/opinions/2009/03/12/2009-03-12_rush_limbaugh_michael_steele_bobby_jinda.html

http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/flashinthedark/2009/03/you-can-be-a-lot-of-things-and.php?ref=reccafe

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/03/10/politics/main4857494.shtml

http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/268912



Copyright TBC 2009 © All Rights Reserved

STEELE - TOED BOOT

RNC MIGHT EXERCISE “CHOICE”
McCain Looks To Run The Ship





Michael Steele with his only friend,
while John McCain chokes on sour grapes.


(March 11, Washington, DC) Until the bizarre events of the last few weeks, all the talk about the demise of the “rudderless” Republican Party and their “identity crisis” seemed like just so much inside the beltway chatter. Now, it all seems right on the money. Their troubles may have only begun with the trouncing they took in November 2008 given the absurdity of what has transpired since. Witnessing the GOP devolve into ‘The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight’, has been one of the most enjoyable sideshows in the history of modern American politics. It promises to only get better.

Since the inauguration of President Obama, the Republicans have shown the entire country their true colors. The rabid vermin representing the GOP in all their glory are as unappealing to view as they are to hear. Spewing the tattered and torn, bogus rhetoric of yesteryear, fools like Mitch “Little Bitch” McConnell, Eric Cantor, John “Tanning Bed” Boehner and, lest we forget, obese, pill popping hero of conservative radio and all things Republican, Rush Limbaugh, are a vivid example of what the GOP stands for. They loudly and proudly hope that President Obama fails, and are so much more concerned with small “P” politics rather than governing that it is nauseating. As sickening as these corrupt imbeciles are, it is important that they are seen and heard - often. As they obstruct the new Administration’s initiatives, sit on their hands as the country teeters on the verge of a depression, they collectively choose to throw mud and plot future campaigns while huddled beneath the frayed and flimsy banner of their Alzhiemic deceased hero Ronald Reagan. Yup, this is great, boys. Show the entire country what and who you really are, not just your “base.”

The CPAC convention two weeks ago was a one-of-a-kind display of the GOP at their very best , celebrating the very best they have to offer. Gomps like Joe the Plumber, El Rushbo, Newt Gingerich and a host of equally repulsive has-beens, never-weres, retreads, and burnt out neo-cons, delivered some real “red meat” for their “base”. Being base for the “base” may keep them wandering around off the governing bases for a good long time to come. After eight years of the most disastrous Presidency in the history of our Nation while the GOP ruled both Houses for 6 of those 8 years, finally, the currents of some cosmic retribution are swirling through the streets of Washington as well as the Halls of Power in the Capitol.

The missteps, miscues and blatant mistakes grow in number virtually every day. First, the Republicans have the gall to attempt to rewrite the history of last 8 years and lay blame for the economic implosion on the Democrats and Obama. Then, of course, there was Senator Judd Gregg and his brief moment in the sun when asked to be nominated as Commerce Secretary, that inspiring drivel from Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindel after the President’s Address to the Joint Chambers of Congress and, perhaps the greatest gift that keeps on giving, the newly elected chairman of the RNC, Michael “Boggie Down” Steele. It really can’t get much better than this or, can it?

While the addled sore looser John McCain slaps his hand angrily on non existent tables in the Senate Chamber, his Party’s de facto leader, Steele, has been alternately bickering and apologizing to and with that massive tub of shit, Limbaugh. yes, indeed. A low browed, knuckle dragging talk radio host has laid claim to the GOP as his own. The very fact that rotund, obtund, Limbo carries such sway with the GOP “Base” in and of itself clearly illustrates just how far gone the Republicans really are. Rush and Steele can’t decide who actually is the ‘leader” of the party. That is priceless.

Steele’s tenure at the helm of the GOP has been like watching the Exxon Valdez hit the rocky Alaskan coast in slow motion over and over again. If Michael Steele is not absolutely insane, then he is a total moron. With each interview granted, every television appearance, Steele hungrily shoves more and more feet into his perpetually open mouth. Just today, during an interview with a GQ reporter, Mikey incoherently stammered over his interpretation of “choice” regarding abortion. Inexplicably his comments were in direct contrast to the long held, sacred, ironclad, cornerstone position of the Party he alleges to “lead”. So much for appealing to the base, Mike. Oh, and by the way, you and your Party will probably not have much electoral success given your current policy positions and inept, shameful behavior. Chairman Steele will actually be subjected to a “No Confidence” vote by his own Party later this month. Wow! Don’t let the door hit you on your pea-brained ass, Mike.

The saddest truth about all the GOP activity since the election is that, in this, our Country’s time of greatest need, they continue to sally forth arrogantly, selfishly, without making any real effort to find common ground solutions so desperately needed. Back home they are able to con their illiterate constituents; once back in the fishbowl of Washington, they feel free to play their horrid games, undermine the greater good, lie, and corrupt the very machinery of government. They seem to have been watching a different movie from the rest of us for the last eight years. They obviously have not yet come to terms with the results of the November 2008 elections. Some of their stupidest operatives are polishing up Sarah Palin for 2012 while their miserably beaten Presidential candidate, Senator John McCain, hints that HE should be the Chairman of the RNC. Why is this tired, confused, blithering old man still standing? Some one should have the decency to put him out of his misery and plant him in one of his mansions where he can drool into a bucket in solitude.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/11/steele-abortion-is-an-ind_n_174092.html

http://wonkette.com/tag/michael-steele/

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=101612112

http://www.dcexaminer.com/politics/The-Whispered-Worries-About-Michael-Steele-41132357.html

http://thedailyvoice.com/voice/2009/03/michael-steel-off-001685.php

http://www.thetoledojournal.com/news/Article/Article.asp?NewsID=94961&sID=16

Copyright TBC 2009 © All Rights Reserved

UNSALTED EARTH:

DEBUNKING THE MYTHS AND MYSTIQUE OF IOWA
An Expose’ Of the Heartless Heartland

















A BROODING CYNYX SPECIAL INVESTIGATIVE REPORT

The first Brooding Cynyx to come to Iowa in September 2007, were the advance guard of the greater contingent to follow. We were coming to Iowa to cover the Presidential Primary Campaigns which would culminate here in January 2008 with the much hyped Iowa caucuses, the “First in the Nation” contests that historically have launched winners and often narrowed the field of contenders. We wanted to provide in depth coverage leading up to the Caucuses, the type of coverage that only on the ground correspondents could provide.

Our presence here diminished after the Caucuses but we had seen enough to know that Iowa, this odd place in the middle of the country, was indeed a place rich in story lines - fertile fields for exploring a variety of current events and issues. There was much to learn about Iowa and what went on here when the national media was not present in profusion for the quadrennial Caucuses. We had begun to glimpse the wealth of material that could tell many stories, frame many issues and serve as a microcosm through which we could explore social and cultural topics.

Not long after the caucuses sent Barak Obama on to what would be electoral victory, a sordid tale of secret lives, murder and mayhem broke when a local banker killed his wife and children before talking his own life in a fiery crash on Interstate 80. This was a tale rich with sensationalism locally yet oddly mundane in its detail anywhere else. We stayed to cover this event and its aftermath and knew by this time that we would remain here until we obtained a greater perspective on this place and its people.

By June 2008 the “500 Year Flood” had much of eastern Iowa under record breaking flood waters. We were able to cover this event in depth and from it flowed a rich crop of tangents we were anxious to pursue. That was the real beginning of this series we are about to post in installments.

“Unsalted Earth” is the product of over 20 months of investigative journalism, aggressive reporting amassed from hundreds of interviews with people across the broad spectrum that is Iowa today. Editorially, we decided to focus on just one of the 99 counties in this vast state; Johnson County, home of the University of Iowa; an honest blend of midwest urban, suburban and rural veins occupying 600 square miles in the east central portion of the state. This would be our microcosm within a microcosm, our laboratory from which we could illuminate current events as perceived from this locale. We had also been convinced that this place was rich with stories of its own that deserved telling and told they would be. We were beginning to get an objective appraisal of this place, her people and saw that there was no lack of subject matter. Just the opposite; Iowa was a bumper crop of interesting and surprising tales to be told - good and not so good. Johnson County was just the platform we needed to cast our view and our fishing lines. This was indeed a well stocked pond.

Over the course of the next few months we will post installments covering a variety of issues, local, national and international, as seen from Iowa and as they impact the people of Iowa. Our readers will vicariously see behind the “Iowa Mystique” and come to see the myths about the “heartland” be splayed open and exposed as just so much inaccurate stereotype and bunk. We were seeing Iowa as it really is not the idyllic, bucolic, ‘salt of the earth’, “Fields of Dreams” the rest of America may think of when (and if) they think of Iowa.

Reality as we have found it, seen it and lived it here is an expansive departure from those antiquated myths. Iowa had been showing it’s true self to us and we felt obliged to share our acquired observations with our loyal, discerning readers. How could we not? This is, after all, our stated mission and motivation, our reason for being in many ways.

We hope you will enjoy reading this series as much as we have constructing it. We will be examining relevant issues and topics diverse and disparate through which so much is revealed about this place, its people and its place in our country literally, figuratively and in some collective imaginations. It is a hard hitting, no-hold-barred expose’ of domains from agribusiness to the legal system, to the front lines in the clash between urban development and the rural way of life which, by the way, is not “farming” as most people would think of “farming” to be.

We refer our loyal readers and new followers alike to visit our archives from November 2007 through June of 2008. There can be found some of the initial postings that grew into this long reporting process.

We are proud of “Unsalted Earth” and hope you will find it provocative, educational, entertaining, amusing, thoughtful and penetrating. We of course, as usual, invite you to join the discussion; to contribute your thoughts and comments as you see fit. The Brooding Cynyx always welcomes input from our readers.

With that, we now leave you. The first installment of “Unsalted Earth” will be posted in short order.

Thank you and be well.

The Brooding Cynyx

OMBUDSMAN’S NOTE

The “Unsalted Earth” series is investigative (subjective) reportage at its best and in its purest form. It is our contribution to the blogging community as represents a "blog" in its truest form, purpose and mission. Names are named, subjects discussed in as unvarnished a manner as possible. That said, the series is also a collection of subjective observations and, as such, is protected under the laws of journalistic practice related to editorializing, opining and commentary. All installments of “Unsalted Earth” have been rigorously scrutinized by our legal staff. Since each installment is labeled as “subjective observation”, “commentary”, “opinion”, and “commentary”, they (and we as authors) are protected under the First Amendment of the United States Constitution (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_of_speech). We make no apologies for writing and reporting as we have seen fit. We have not sought to intentionally offend, insult or otherwise upset anyone however, if we have, that’s too bad. If anyone takes issue with anything we have written or reported it is probably because they are guilty as charged. The truth often hurts. Those who become insulted are also frightened because they have been dragged into the harsh light of day, their deeds exposed for a wider audience. We express and maintain our rights under law for the contents of “Unsalted Earth”. We welcome any legal challenge; that would provide additional grist for our very able and active mills.

TBC
March 1, 2009
New York, New York
Iowa City, Iowa

Photo image courtesy of webs.lanset.com/.../New_Am...othic.jpeg

Copyright TBC 2009 © All Rights Reserved

JINDAL GUMBO

BAYOU BOBBY BOMBS: BIG TIME












LOUISIANA GOVERNOR BIG LOSER AS FACE OF GOP



(Feb. 24, Baton Rouge, LA) Touted as a “rising star” and a “face of change” for the beleaguered Republican Party, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal failed abysmally in his nationally televised debut. Selected to give the GOP response to President Obama’s Address to Congress, Jindal’s performance was about as bad as could be.

Beginning with the stagecraft; whoever directed the Governor to semi-lurch, semi-slink around a corner into the unwavering eye of a television camera should be shot. The Governor began his address in a breathless manner more akin to a sophomoric talent show than a national audience. his opening remarks sounded more like a nascent stump speech, albeit an awful one, and contextually went steadily downhill from there.

Granted, it is an extraordinarily tall order oratorically to follow President Obama under any circumstances. Having to address the nation from some hallway in the Governor’s Mansion after Obama delivered a powerful, thoughtful and substantive address to the country from the Chamber of the House of Representative before a joint session, with the Supreme Court, his Cabinet, the Joint Chiefs of Staff also in attendance, was a daunting prospect for even the most poised and gifted orator. Jindal was, to put it kindly, way out of his league: he basically sucked.

Presenting himself as a “Washington Outsider” his performance here tonight virtually assured that he will forever keep that status. The criticism of his speech is already swift and harsh from all quarters with some of the most vicious remarks coming from members of his own Party. His speech is being roundly blasted not just for his terrible delivery but for its tone and contents. Bayou Bobby nervously spouted some of the most failed and flat Republican talking points and seemed to have no clue as to what he was saying. If his speech was in fact meant to be an actual “response” to President Obama’s, perhaps he should have listened to Obama before mouthing the irrelevant garbage that he did.

The 36 year old Ivy League schooled son of Indian immigrants has been seen by some in the GOP as a viable candidate for national office and a positive representative for the predominately white southern male Republicans. Much as Michael Steele the newly elected Chairman of the GOP, Jindal has allowed himself and his ethnicity to be crassly exploited by the GOP. Steele, the first African American to chair the GOP, was elected primarily for his race and to be a counter to President Obama as the GOP allegedly desires to “reach out” to African American voters. Thus far Steele has shown himself to be an imbecile of gargantuan proportions and should go a long way to keeping the Republicans in the political minority for some time to come. Jindal, if he continues in his role as a “face of change” should also be successful in showing the GOP to be truly bankrupt of ideas, solutions of the many problems facing the nation and their lack of political talent. Jindal made Sarah Palin look like Adlai Stevenson tonight .

Inexplicably Jindal cited the Federal government’s response to Hurricane Katrina several times in his speech and made other questionable statements none of which were complimentary to his Party. “Bobby is a good man, a very intelligent guy but boy, did he screw up tonight”, said Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour. “Bobby looked like a rotting craw fish splattered on the dock. He should have never have allowed himself to be so totally embarrassed. Hopefully, he will never be heard from outside Louisiana again”, commented Senate Minority Leader Mitch “Little Bitch” McConnell.

Links:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/02/25/jindal.reaction/

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/theoval/post/2009/02/63335639/1

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-nickolas/after-lying-about-high-sp_b_169892.html

http://nyulocal.com/uncategorized/2009/02/25/obama-vs-jindal/



Copyright TBC 2009 © All Rights Reserved