Saturday, January 12, 2008



South Bronx, NYC (Jan 11, 2008) Our Ombudsweiserman is a good guy; he really is. He is just a bit of a tight-ass and a douche. We respect and love him nonetheless. He grants us certain latitude, defends us from irate readers and absolutely champions our freedom to speak. That said; there are some things he neglected to tell you. I’ll make it brief, I’ll be succinct, I won’t waste valuable Cynyx space nor your time.

This, kind reader, is who we are:

We have a convicted felon, an accused felon and two felons who have never been caught. We have a drunk, a struggling drunk and a “recovering alcoholic”. We have a contributor with an MD, a Ph.D. and one who had three OD’s. Flea Flack has a Ph.D. a J.D., and a CDL.

We have a black guy, a racist Arkansas redneck, a former Kluxer, a former ACLU’er and a New York City bigot. We have an anti-semite, a Zionist, a Muslim and an Israeli Orthodox Catholic.

There is a Cynyc who served in the Marine Corps in Viet Nam, one leatherneck from Gulf War One, a Korean War Vet and a draft dodger who went to Saskatchewan in 1968. Yup...most of us agree...fuck him. (just kidding)

We’ve got a biker, a White Supremacist and former member of the Idaho State Senate. Okay... He is all the same guy.

We have guys that call each other guys, and guys who call other guys dudes and dudes who call everyone dude. Some of the Cynyx drink Miller Lite in bottles, some, Jameson’s straight, others Sterno and Aqua-Velva with a twist. Some nothing more than Cream Soda.

One of us has been to prison, another, was a corrections officer. We have retired cops, bookies, longshoremen and a structural engineer. We have two economists, several OTR drivers, a reclusive millionaire and an Iowa manure farmer and a pimp on sabbatical.

What we don’t have at the moment is a female Cynyc. We need a woman. We need to find a female contributor, cynical enough, to be counted among this tight group of Brooding Cynyx.

Cynyx have been born and raised in Brooklyn and the South Bronx, New York, Corleone, Sicily, Saucier, Mississippi and Bismarck, North Dakota. Some Cynyx live in the city, some in the country, some in jails, prison and some in trucks. One lives in the bayou in a lean-to but has a satellite hookup.

We care and don’t care; we are Left and Right, Blue and Red, Alpha and Omega, Ben and Jerry.

We’ve been there, done that, caught fish and thrown them back. We’ve dodged and ducked, trucked and fucked and lived to see another century. We’ve been bailed out, put upon, overweight, underpaid and guilty as charged.

We’ve written thesis, performed autopsies and coronary by pass. We’ve passed gas, lived half-assed, been type cast and hung over. We’ve sworn off and mouthed off, jacked off and been locked in solitary. Some of us went to a monastery, some just stayed in emotional Mayberry. We shop at Walmart, Handi-Mart, and Bloomingdales.

We all believe, as Mick Jagger said so many years ago that, “Every cop’s a criminal and all the angels saints...”

We won’t disappoint...

Copyright © 2008 TBC All Rights Reserved

Friday, January 11, 2008


New Year: New Start For Cynyx Everywhere

Continental United States, Undisclosed Location (Jan 9, 2008) Perhaps it’s time for an interlude, a brief pause from the usual discourse (or serial rambling) that transpires in this space. It’s time to talk, you and I reader, talk about who we are, who you are and what’s going on out here.

Some of you might stop reading right now...if so, that certainly is your prerogative. It is a reader’s paradise out here; hundreds and hundreds of articulate, insightful, thoughtful, humorous voices all just waiting for you. Of course, there is the overabundance of conventional ‘media’ at your fingertips. Let there be no illusions about it, on either of our parts; this is a tough sell, our audience is not nearly what we would like but what we have, you loyal souls, are greatly appreciated.

As the Ombudsman of this blog, it is my responsibility to assure the quality of the postings appearing here. This is no easy task. The Cynyx are an unruly, stubborn, opinionated, rambunctious lot, not easily regulated. They are granted a great deal of latitude provided they remain within the semi-well defined borders of our declared landscape. Their individualism, perspectives, perceptions, observations, sarcasm, humor and, of course, cynicism, is vigorously encouraged. If you have spent any time among us here by now, you probably have determined for yourself, that the Cynyx often push the limits of acceptability. That is their collective mission; to make you think, piss you off, make you smile, laugh, cringe or in some other way, react. They seek a reaction. Their posts should be in some form or fashion provocative. However, and herein lies my dilemma, they should not offend. There exists a fine line between sarcastic, caustic, cynical humor and insult. The Cynyx do not intentionally insult however: we recognize the variables in this equation. All of us, you, me, them, we all have uniquely individual, personal tastes, thresholds, biases and senses of irony, the absurd and humor. As Ombudsman, my goal is to be ever vigilant in my efforts to keep our small chunk of cyberspace free of blatant insult. Sometimes, I fail. Occasionally, an item, a comment a remark considered by the author to be comical or benign, to an individual reader sounds offensive or insulting. Hey, we do our best.

In some regards the Cynyx have the latitude they do by virtue of being who they are, who we are collectively. We are black and white, from various, diverse backgrounds, socio-economic levels, from places all over the country. Some of us are highly educated, some natively intelligent but barely literate. Some Cynyx have achieved great success in fields running the gamut from medicine, law and business right across the board through finance, trucking, pool-shooting, boxing, farming, law enforcement, debt collections, leg breaking and mortuary services. It is often not possible to ascertain the ethnic, religious, social, educational composition of the individual author. Some readily identify themselves by name; others employ pseudonyms for various reasons and still other post under other contributors’ monikers. That is their choice. Those not comfortable being open about their identity often still want to contribute and, as associates, friends of a friend, so to speak, they are permitted posting privileges under some other Cynyx authority. That’s just the way it works here.

Actually, if they all do their job properly, in most posting, you the reader should not be able to tell an educated black Baptist republican physician wrote a post or it was written by a retired democratic Catholic Italian cop from Brooklyn. Trust me, we are an eclectic group with the minimal degree of commonality required to participate in this effort. And that, friends and neighbors, makes the blog-o-sphere go round.

Some of the Cynyx you may have become familiar with, you may feel as though you know who they are. If so, that says as much about them as it does about you. Some of the most prolific Cynyx, simply by virtue of their output, have revealed more about themselves than their more reserved colleagues.

Let’s talk for a minute about “Blogger Blankin”. Blogger Blankin is a real individual and also an obvious pseudonym. Aside from Blogger himself, there are a few contributors who post under his name. The real Blogger Blankin is a name some of you might actually recognize. He is a very successful, wealth businessman in several industries, most notably agriculture, logistics, trucking, venture capitol, entertainment/casinos/resorts and various conservative causes. He utilizes his pseudonym because it allows him a level of freedom he would not be permitted if his true identity was known. Those of you familiar with BloggerBlankin posting can probably tell when a posting was submitted by “Blogger” himself or another of those who post under his name.

The same may be said about our founder, Brooding Cynyc. BC is a real man but there are a few others who post under his name. F. Lee “Flea” Flack, does in fact hold a Ph.D. from Harvard, a law degree from Ole Miss and a Commercial Driver’s License with HazMat and tanker endorsements. He is, of course, the Director of Governmental affairs for the very real and influential MRW1 Group of Jackson, Mississippi. MRW1 Group is among the largest, privately owned logistics, transportation and trucking consultancies in the country. They provide diverse services operationally to their clients, are staunch advocates for the trucking industry in Washington DC, have a PAC, an in house research unit and a Think Tank.

Then there are Cletus E. Yoder and Farley Marsden, tow of our more colorful political correspondents. Cletus lives in Lone Tree, Iowa. Farley, in Boston. They have been out on the campaign trail with the candidates and have broken some exclusive postings that have appeared here. They have done some powerful reporting and have also made their share of blunders. As Ombudsman, I assure you, the errors have been dealt with.

Farley was water-boarded after his last post from New Hampshire. After he regained consciousness he was beaten, forced to drink a bottle of Sloe Gin, and locked in a room forced to listen to an endless loop of Celine Dion songs for 24 hours. Currently, he is under observation at the Maine Home for the Absurdly Insane. He is expected to be back on the trail by the Michigan Primary.

Cletus was also sanctioned for some of his harangues. I cannot provide details.

The point to all of this is to express our collective gratitude to our readers and to provide a better understanding to you about who we really are.

The Brooding Cynyx wish you and yours all the best in health, happiness and cynicism throughout 2008.

Copyright © 2008 TBC All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, January 9, 2008


Hillary and John Win in New Hampshire

Durham, NH (Jan. 8, 2008. TBC) Hillary Clinton and John McCain were victorious in this state tonight, each scoring a much needed first place finish. Democratic presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton beat Barak Obama in a tight race while GOP and independent voters gave Republican, John McCain his second primary victory in this state. He had beaten then Texas Governor, George W. Bush here in 2000. Their victories were significant in that both candidates have had difficulty gaining traction thus far in the campaign season. Hillary Clinton finished third in the Iowa Caucuses last week, with Illinois Senator Obama posting a sizable margin of victory over her and second place finisher former North Carolina Senator, John Edwards. Arizona Senator, McCain’s campaign has been hampered by internal problems, a lack of financial resources, the skeptical right wing conservative base and his unpopular positions on issues such as the war in Iraq and immigration reform. Earlier in the day both candidates basically admitted that tonight was extremely important for the survival of their respective races.

The results in New Hampshire tonight illustrate one of the profound differences between the Iowa Caucuses and this state’s Primary. Former Arkansas Governor, Mike Huckabee rode to victory in Iowa last week on the support of that state’s large voting population of Evangelical Christians and social conservatives. His dismal showing here tonight demonstrates his narrow, faith-based support and does not bode well as the more diverse, densely populated state’s primaries grow near.

Republican Mitt Romney, the former Governor of Massachusetts, who has outspent all his rivals exponentially, has yet to have a finish comparable to his investment. New Hampshire had been seen as fertile ground for Romney since he had been the Governor of a neighboring state and had name recognition here. Perhaps Romney’s last remaining hope is the upcoming Primary in Michigan, the state of his birth where his father had been a popular Governor.

The remaining candidates on both sides who have yet to attract respectable shows of support from voters will have to reassess their strategies or simply wait for Super Tuesday when over half of the states will conduct primaries. Former New York City Mayor, Rudy Guiliani, for example, has based his entire candidacy confident of having support in big states like Florida, California, New York, New Jersey and Ohio. Many observers have questioned his approach and many remain skeptical that he can be competitive nationally.

Republican Fred Thompson, a late comer to the campaign trail, a former Senator from Tennessee may have waited too long to engage. His popularity in the South remains to be seen but, his polling numbers reflect a great deal of uninterest in his candidacy. Democratic wing nuts such as Bill Richardson, Dennis Kucinich, Chris Dodd and Joe Biden as well as GOP’er, Ron Paul should very shortly be absent from the campaign trail. All have had abysmally poor showings and have certainly wasted enough of other people’s money in their grossly obvious futile efforts.

South Carolina will play host to the next primary and poses unique demographic challenges for all the remaining candidates.

Farley Marsden, New Hampshire Correspondent, TBC

Copyright © 2008 TBC All Rights Reserved

Tuesday, January 8, 2008



Portsmouth, NH. (Jan. 8, 2008. TBC Exclusive) Having presented every possible crafted, scripted, focus-group tested incarnation of herself, Hillary Clinton played her one remaining card here yesterday: that of the picked on, misunderstood, woman being disrespected by men. This was perhaps the least believable of all the myriad unbelievable personas she and her operatives have dreamt up and used thus far.

The steely, experienced, tough political activist who had fought the republican smear machine for 16 years did not work too well. Equally ineffective was the battle hardened legislator, the long time champion of women’s and children’s rights, the advocate activist for the downtrodden. Certainly her stint as the inevitable commander-in-chief-in-waiting, ready to hit the ground running as soon as rolled up her sleeves and slammed the Oval Office door shut, has not played well at all. For a brief time, as the political scene in Iowa began to shift, she dragged her old mother out on the campaign trail with her, had a few old, close, girl friends tag along, with daughter Chelsea by her side. This transparent effort to show her “softer side” was as phony as her alleged lifelong allegiance to the New York Yankees.

Yes indeed. Now that the going has gotten rough, that her once formidable juggernaut of a political machine has shown the telltale signs of over use and antiquation, the once ballsy attorney from the infamous Rose Law Firm, the shrewd cattle futures player who parlayed a meager investment into a cool hundred thousand in short order, this chameleon, has tried the sympathy shtick.

While taking questions from some nice women at a diner counter here, her eyes welled up and, her voice, softened with sincerity, stress and weariness, quavered a bit as she rested her noble chin in the palm of her left hand explaining, from the depths of her heart, how “tough” it has all been. It was a poor imitation of a B-grade movie performance at best, yet another scripted tactic that did not work, at worst. Hillary Clinton may be many things but the weepy, worn out, battered and bruised crusader is not one of them. Not by a long shot.

Not even the most talented politician in the history of politics, her husband, former President William Jefferson Clinton and all his oratory skills seems able to help his wife as the fickle carpet of electoral reality is being pulled, first by Iowans, now by New Hampshirites, from beneath her sensible pumps.

The pants-suited warrior acting as if her destiny was just months from being fulfilled is now instead going to pay for her past. All the maneuvering, memory losses, lost records, White House charades, cover-ups, slip-ups and Vince Foster-like mysteries are coming home to roost. The Illinois native, former Arkansas and United States First Lady, who carpetbagged her way into a Senate seat for the State of New York, may finally be glimpsing the stark end of her long and winding road.

Oh, the humanity! The brutality that she may actually be denied what she has so long sought, so fervently believed to be hers. Adding insult to injury, her political lard ass may be kicked by a freshman Senator, an up-start possessed by not just the “Audacity of Hope” by also the audacity to challenge her.

If the entry and exit polls are to believed, she may not have to travel to South Carolina right away. She may have to stage a fund raiser or two merely to prolong the agony of the "new inevitable" in Hillary-world: defeat. The only saps that may still believe in this charlatan are those coursing through the multitude of maple trees here.

Shrillary Clinton. Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow.

Farley Marsden, New Hampshire Correspondent for TBC

Copyright © 2008 TBC All Rights Reserved

Monday, January 7, 2008


At Least there Were Fewer Debaters

Keene, NH (Jan.,2008. TBC) With a scant 120 hours between the results of the Iowa Caucuses and the New Hampshire Primary, the presidential candidates from both parties spent the weekend in a rush of frenzied activity. Aside from various and sundry town hall meetings, public events, TV appearances and interviews, Saturday night, both the democratic and republican candidates participated in separate back-to-back debates sponsored by ABC News and Facebook.

The candidates also made obligatory appearances on the numerous Sunday morning talk shows while the GOP contenders had yet another debate, billed as a Forum, sponsored by Fox News Sunday evening.

The one saving grace to this schedule was the fact that there were fewer candidates spewing out the same old hot air, bilge, lies, nonsense and political gibberish. The remaining candidates were at least permitted a certain amount of time to express ideas, opinions and to confront one another when prodded. The toll of all this mass debating is beginning to show on some of the candidates, most notably, democratic New York Senator, Hillary Clinton. She appeared shrill, angry, arrogant and otherwise churlish on Saturday night. GOP contender MItt Romney managed to perform his most effective imitation of Mrs. Clinton during the Forum on Sunday evening.

In a sense, it was somewhat refreshing to see the field of candidates reduced, but those remaining did little to distinguish themselves from their standard stump speeches, campaign rhetoric as they pitifully clung to their “message” at every opportunity. By now these scripted, robotic somewhat idiotic sound bites are more insult than annoyance.

The democratic debate Saturday was the typical display of those running. John Edwards was apoplexily on the attack against whatever it is that has him so pissed off. Bill Richardson continued to find new and novel ways to demonstrate his ignorance, irrelevance and overall ineptness. Hillary managed to be defensive, hostile, coy and her usual lying self with little effort. Barak Obama, fresh off his victory in Iowa, seemed more at ease with himself and the format. He spoke well when he needed to and made no obvious blunders. His colleagues managed to do that.

Sunday evening the republicans, sitting shoulder to shoulder, cheek to jowl, managed to keep their voices at conversational tones and overall, behave cordially. Romney, in one exchange with Iowa winner, Mike Huckabee seemed childishly exasperated. He looked like the little rich spoiled brat not getting his way. The facial expressions alone illustrated a side to Mitt that was telling: this man simply lacks the temperament, poise and self discipline to be the president. Added to his other liabilities, New Hampshire should be the end of the road for this millionaire. It would be convenient since, he would not be far from his palatial mansion in Belmont, Massachusetts and could be home the next day in time for tea and a massage.

Fred Thompson made several clumsy attempts at glibness and humor tonight, all of which fell. Apparently the Geritol enemas, B-12 shots, Head-On and Mountain Dew are just not working anymore.

Former NYC Mayor Rudy Guiliani had an acceptable performance although Chris Wallace, the moderator, spent an inordinate amount of time trying to goad Mike Huckabee and John McCain into confrontations with Romney. McCain repeated his usual swill while Huckabee managed to resemble Jim Nabors at a city council meeting more than ever. When Rudy had an opportunity to speak, he was poised, confident and spoke in simple, understandable terms. Thompson chose to use his microphone time to discuss the arcane complexities of Social Security and certainly looked as if he’d be better off at home collecting it.

At least the voters here will actually be able to vote as opposed to the asinine, antiquated caucus process of Iowa. New Hampshire will be a true winnowing ground whereas Iowa simply removed the most obvious “no chance in hell” egotistical wannabes hoping for a cabinet post or some other handout when all is said and done in November.

Farley Marsden, New Hampshire Correspondent for TBC

Copyright © 2008 TBC All Rights Reserved