Friday, March 13, 2009



(March 12, Manhattan Criminal Court, NYC) As Ponzi scheme criminal extraordinaire, Bernie Madoff, was lead off to jail, some of his “victims” were present and willing to speak to the press. It is very difficult to feel sympathy for any of these people for a number of reasons.

The majority of the people involved with Madoff’s phony investment fund are very wealthy; these are not your average Joe and Jane Blue-collar whose 401K was decimated when Madoff’s house of cards came crashing down. To be certain, simply due to the scale and scope of Madoff’s connections in various banks and markets, some regular Joe’s have been impacted. But, they are in a distinct minority. Most of Madoff’s minions were playing with big money up front; their substantial investments were meant to yield very substantial dividends and boy, did they ever.

Until they didn’t.

An examination of the public records from Madoff’s multi-charge indictment reads like a ‘Who’s Who” of the ultra wealthy American and Israeli Jewish communities. Yes, this is a fact, not an anti-Semitic accusation. Bernie’s “investors” really thought they had found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow Madoff painted for them. Their greed and their greed alone allowed Madoff to run his scheme for almost 20 years. As long as the unrealistic, unnaturally lucrative dividends were being paid to his investors, they happily banked and spent the money. While the rest of the country’s investors were subject to the natural ups and downs in the markets, saw their investments and pensions seesaw from bull to bear cycles, those in Madoff World were immune and never wondered why. It was like manna from Heaven, the financial incarnation of the Loaves and the Fishes. Praise Yahweh!

A scam or con of any kind, from the most basic street hustle, to the complex manipulations of derivatives, future markets, commodities trading and the host of other exotic products that had been routinely offered by Wall Street, all rely on the “dupes” or, in Bernie’s case, the gullibility of his investors. It is just like lying; the most effective lies and liars are those who feed the person they are lying to what they want to hear. Likewise, Madoff’s tightly knit collection of rich Jews were more than content to think of themselves as “on to something special.” Yes, they felt tapped in to a secret, a closely guarded secret that played right into their greed. If nothing else, Madoff was a brilliant “social engineer”. He craftily blended his past Wall Street reputation and success, with his own unquenchable avarice, his ability to “smooth talk” his clients, some high profile philanthropy to bolster his public image, and his fabricated facade of a benevolent millionaire, mortared with unimaginable hubris. He had them all duped because they were willing to be had.

Of course none of them realized they were being had at the time. No, not at all. The money kept pouring in regularly just as brilliant Bernie had promised. Those rich powerful Jews fortunate enough to be “in the know” about the Madoff fund would quietly, almost conspiratorially, whisper in the ears of other rich, powerful Jews, close friends, swear them to secrecy and tell them about the fortune that could be made with Madoff. Not only was he an investing genius, he was a Jew, one of US. What could be better and, after all, who deserve such blessings more than the Jewish community. They could fund their charities here and in Israel, donate to good Jewish causes lavishly; almost as lavishly as they could spend their treasures on themselves. Oh yes, what a mensch, that Bernie!

And now come the melodramatics; victims crying for the cameras, expressing their hope that brilliant Bernie “rots in hell”. Now they turn to the government demanding answers, blaming laxity on the part of the SEC for their terrible losses. Sorry, folks, that dog won’t hunt. You, the victims had no problems with the lax regulatory climate that allowed your “God” (as Elie Weisel has called Madoff) to somehow create unknown wealth from an increasingly shaky market. No problem that your returns were absurdly out of sync with market and securities activities. Greed is am impressive insulator just as is the feeling that you are “one up” on everyone else. That hubris has all come home to roost and the only tears that should be shed should roll down the cheeks of the schleps who bought into Bernie’s game. Screw them. You lost it all because Bernie turned out to be the Big Bad Brilliant Jew? Too friggin bad. Suck it up.

These throngs of alleged “victims” are acting like strung out crack addicts demanding the police arrest their suppliers. Whose fault is it that you are addicted? Whose fault is it that you thought Bernie was plugged into a mysterious money making gizmo?

While it is sad that many charitable organizations that have done altruistic, noble works that have helped many, the people who managed such endeavors, those that made the decisions for endowments, trusts and other people’s futures have no one to blame but themselves. Sure, they don’t want to hear it and they will never admit it. Their failure to admit their financially fatal flaws will forever prohibit them from accepting the harsh facts of reality. There are painful yet profound lessons to be learned here; lessons that go way beyond investment strategies. Human nature at its worst, at its most base level manifest itself in greed pure and simple. These arrogant, mega rich Jews lived by the credo of the fictional Wall Street tycoon Gordon Gekko, “Greed is good.”

Well, folks, its not. At least not always and for you - not for ever. So put away your hankies, turn away from the TV cameras, keep your outrage and anger to yourselves. You had no problems keeping the great Madoff scheme a secret when it served to enrich you so please have the same courtesy now; shut the fuck up! Go away. Scurry back to your upper East Side penthouses, your Grammercy Park brownstones, your beachfront condos in West Palm Beach and your palatial mansions in Englewood Cliffs, The Hamptons, and Beverly Hills. Go back into the comfort your riches have brought you to lick your wounds. You’ll find no sympathy out here in the real world, among the masses you once so callously derided because you were wealthy. You lost money. Big deal. Everything is relative. Tell it to your Rabbi.


Copyright TBC 2009 © All Rights Reserved

Thursday, March 12, 2009



Bristol voted “Best Chest in Alaska” will
begin topless modeling career

(March 12, Wasilla, Alaska) What’s a busty, young, single mom of a former Vice Presidential candidate to do? Well, Bristol Palin, the stacked daughter of Alaska’s Republican Governor, Sarah Palin, has apparently found her own means of financial support: she will pose topless for a variety of men’s magazines. It seems that Bristol’s taste of the wider world beyond her small Alaska town while campaigning with her Mom has left her eager for fame and fortune. In the meantime she will bare her beautiful breasts. “My mom thinks it’s great. By making money this way I am essentially starting a small business. It is capitalism”, said the chesty young wonder.

For her part the Governor is indeed supportive of her daughter’s modeling pursuits. “You betcha I’m behind Bristol all the way. Don’t ya forget now it was by entering beauty pageants myself that got me the exposure I needed. Now look, I am the Governor of the great state of Alaska and, by golly, I was almost Vice President of these United States.”

According to Bristol’s agent, Reno Slimebahlski, offers for Bristol to model topless began pouring in immediately after she began appearing at campaign stops with her Mom. “After being seen of TV by so many people during the Republican National Convention, Bristol was contacted by dozens of men's magazines especially those that cater to big breast fans. She was, at first a little reserved about the idea but, since she broke up with her high school drop out boyfriend, Levi, she is eager to show the world what she’s got up top,” commented Slimebahlski.

Bristol 38 DD

Bristol is scheduled for several photo shoots in the next few weeks. Jack DePalma, publisher of “Score”, “Voluptuous”, and other men's magazines says that “She has the potential to be bigger than Topsy Curvy, Melissa Mounds, Pandora Peaks, Jessica Juggs and Twin Towers. Her natural beauty and big boobies will make her an instant star. She has a fortune riding on her chest and she should capitalize on it.”

Bristol is eager to begin her modeling career. Her new born son will be tended to by her Mom and Dad while she flies to Los Angeles and Miami for photo shoots. She told the Anchorage Gazette that, “Ever since I grew boobies the boys have gone wild over me. I figure, like, why not make some money showing them off? I know I have great tits and I know there is a market for tits like mine. Who knows, it might even help me get a career in politics or something”

Soon to be Miss July on the cover of Juggs Magazine

The Republican National Committee has already taken notice of Bristol’s assets and anticipate using her photos in some fund raising campaigns. “If we put a topless picture of Bristol Palin on the front of our donation mailers I bet we’d haul in some serious bucks,” said an enthusiastic GOP Chairman, Michael Steele. He continued, “We think that once men see Bristol and all she has to offer and they realize she is a Republican, I believe our troubles as a Party might be over. She has certainly raised more than my spirits and I bet she’ll do the same for many male members of our Party.”

Copyright TBC 2009 © All Rights Reserved




(March 12, Washington, DC) Touting his efforts to broaden the appeal of the Republican Party, embattled GOP Chairman Michael Steele has named two former rap one hit wonders to his Executive Committee. Steele has expressed his desire to give the impression that the Republican Party is inclusive and not the refuge for white, southern men, conservative oddballs, the NRA and other hard core fringe groups. He promised to make it more, “hip-hop, urban, suburban” with an emphasis on political “bling”. His staffing picks announced today may in fact help him accomplish his outreach to a younger generation of potential Republicans or it may only accelerate his departure from his current job.

Steele really had to dig deep in the greasy barrel of forgotten rappers or pseudo-rappers. Most of the big names in rap that he initially approached told him to fuck off or simply get lost. Chairman Steel had met with famous gangsta rappers like Snoop Doggy Dog, Fifty Cent, Eminem and Will Smith. He was rebuffed and ridiculed by them all and others not named here. Desperate to prove his Party is “down with wuz up on da streets”, Steele enthusiastically introduced his two top appointees here today.

MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice, coming off there widely successful concert tour that lasted one night in Orem Utah, will play key roles in the GOP’s outreach initiatives. During a news conference held at Big Slappy Pappy’s, a hip-hop bar, bordello and hair styling mecca in northwest Washington, DC, Steele enthusiastically told reporters that, “I am delighted to have MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice on board at the GOP. I think they are jus’ B A D. We gonna hit da streets and git with the brothas and sistas. We wants to know wut dey sayin’, wut dey sayin’ and wut dey think of the stimulus package.”

Since his razor thin margin of victory in his bid to be Party Chairman last month, Steel has been embroiled in a continuous series of controversies, gaffes, miscues and finds himself literally fighting to hold on to his job. The GOP will hold a “no confidence” vote in two weeks that will determine the Chairman’s fate. “ I’m confident that I will prevail, hold onto my job and will be able to lead the Republican Party out of the depths of despair after getting our asses whupped last November, to a new and brighter future. What the base of the GOP is going to have to understand is that our future will be Blacker as it gets brighter” Steele commented.

The Republican’s appear to be in disarray since the inauguration of President Obama. They find themselves in the minority in both Houses of Congress and have long been known to not be at all receptive or supportive of policy initiatives that concern African Americans, Latinos, Hip-Hoper’s, Gang Bangers, Low Riders, Side Winders and Gay-Lesbian-Bi, Tri, and Multi-Sexuals and other special interest groups long affiliated with the Democratic Party. Perhaps Steele’s new Executive Committee members will play significant roles towards making inroads with inner city and minority voters. Naming MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice to his staff has generated a variety of responses from across the political spectrum. Some top ranking members of his own Party, already at odds with him, have come out strongly in opposition to Mr. Hammer and Mr. Ice.

Senate Minority Leader, Mitch “Little Bitch” McConnell said, “I don’t know what exactly the Chairman is planning but, it seems to me that he has lost his mind. Who are these people he has appointed? Frankly, I am confused and I will be demanding answers from Mr. Steele immediately.” Conservative radio blowhard Rush Limbaugh who has been feuding with Mr. Steele for weeks over the actual leadership of the GOP, told his talk show audience that, “Steele thinks that the Republicans, the Party of Barry Goldwater, Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan actually needs to attract voters who are not gun-toting, southern, midwestern, God fearing, rock ribbed conservatives. I say that is hogwash. I say that is crap and I think Steele has to go. The last thing we need in the Republican Party are Blacks, Hispanics and other misfit, low lifes.”

When Steele was informed about McConnell’s and Limbaugh’s harsh comments he replied, “Listen, y’all. Those two morons can kiss my black ass. They are the reason that the Republican Party is dying. Those two honky, cracker, muthafuckas deserve to get they asses kicked. People like them don’t know wuts goin’ down in the ‘hoods with the real people. I say they can both go fuck themselves and each other. Mitch, bein’ from Kentucky, would probably enjoy that.”

Copyright TBC 2009 © All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


McCain Looks To Run The Ship

Michael Steele with his only friend,
while John McCain chokes on sour grapes.

(March 11, Washington, DC) Until the bizarre events of the last few weeks, all the talk about the demise of the “rudderless” Republican Party and their “identity crisis” seemed like just so much inside the beltway chatter. Now, it all seems right on the money. Their troubles may have only begun with the trouncing they took in November 2008 given the absurdity of what has transpired since. Witnessing the GOP devolve into ‘The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight’, has been one of the most enjoyable sideshows in the history of modern American politics. It promises to only get better.

Since the inauguration of President Obama, the Republicans have shown the entire country their true colors. The rabid vermin representing the GOP in all their glory are as unappealing to view as they are to hear. Spewing the tattered and torn, bogus rhetoric of yesteryear, fools like Mitch “Little Bitch” McConnell, Eric Cantor, John “Tanning Bed” Boehner and, lest we forget, obese, pill popping hero of conservative radio and all things Republican, Rush Limbaugh, are a vivid example of what the GOP stands for. They loudly and proudly hope that President Obama fails, and are so much more concerned with small “P” politics rather than governing that it is nauseating. As sickening as these corrupt imbeciles are, it is important that they are seen and heard - often. As they obstruct the new Administration’s initiatives, sit on their hands as the country teeters on the verge of a depression, they collectively choose to throw mud and plot future campaigns while huddled beneath the frayed and flimsy banner of their Alzhiemic deceased hero Ronald Reagan. Yup, this is great, boys. Show the entire country what and who you really are, not just your “base.”

The CPAC convention two weeks ago was a one-of-a-kind display of the GOP at their very best , celebrating the very best they have to offer. Gomps like Joe the Plumber, El Rushbo, Newt Gingerich and a host of equally repulsive has-beens, never-weres, retreads, and burnt out neo-cons, delivered some real “red meat” for their “base”. Being base for the “base” may keep them wandering around off the governing bases for a good long time to come. After eight years of the most disastrous Presidency in the history of our Nation while the GOP ruled both Houses for 6 of those 8 years, finally, the currents of some cosmic retribution are swirling through the streets of Washington as well as the Halls of Power in the Capitol.

The missteps, miscues and blatant mistakes grow in number virtually every day. First, the Republicans have the gall to attempt to rewrite the history of last 8 years and lay blame for the economic implosion on the Democrats and Obama. Then, of course, there was Senator Judd Gregg and his brief moment in the sun when asked to be nominated as Commerce Secretary, that inspiring drivel from Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindel after the President’s Address to the Joint Chambers of Congress and, perhaps the greatest gift that keeps on giving, the newly elected chairman of the RNC, Michael “Boggie Down” Steele. It really can’t get much better than this or, can it?

While the addled sore looser John McCain slaps his hand angrily on non existent tables in the Senate Chamber, his Party’s de facto leader, Steele, has been alternately bickering and apologizing to and with that massive tub of shit, Limbaugh. yes, indeed. A low browed, knuckle dragging talk radio host has laid claim to the GOP as his own. The very fact that rotund, obtund, Limbo carries such sway with the GOP “Base” in and of itself clearly illustrates just how far gone the Republicans really are. Rush and Steele can’t decide who actually is the ‘leader” of the party. That is priceless.

Steele’s tenure at the helm of the GOP has been like watching the Exxon Valdez hit the rocky Alaskan coast in slow motion over and over again. If Michael Steele is not absolutely insane, then he is a total moron. With each interview granted, every television appearance, Steele hungrily shoves more and more feet into his perpetually open mouth. Just today, during an interview with a GQ reporter, Mikey incoherently stammered over his interpretation of “choice” regarding abortion. Inexplicably his comments were in direct contrast to the long held, sacred, ironclad, cornerstone position of the Party he alleges to “lead”. So much for appealing to the base, Mike. Oh, and by the way, you and your Party will probably not have much electoral success given your current policy positions and inept, shameful behavior. Chairman Steele will actually be subjected to a “No Confidence” vote by his own Party later this month. Wow! Don’t let the door hit you on your pea-brained ass, Mike.

The saddest truth about all the GOP activity since the election is that, in this, our Country’s time of greatest need, they continue to sally forth arrogantly, selfishly, without making any real effort to find common ground solutions so desperately needed. Back home they are able to con their illiterate constituents; once back in the fishbowl of Washington, they feel free to play their horrid games, undermine the greater good, lie, and corrupt the very machinery of government. They seem to have been watching a different movie from the rest of us for the last eight years. They obviously have not yet come to terms with the results of the November 2008 elections. Some of their stupidest operatives are polishing up Sarah Palin for 2012 while their miserably beaten Presidential candidate, Senator John McCain, hints that HE should be the Chairman of the RNC. Why is this tired, confused, blithering old man still standing? Some one should have the decency to put him out of his misery and plant him in one of his mansions where he can drool into a bucket in solitude.

Copyright TBC 2009 © All Rights Reserved