Saturday, January 10, 2009



Ex-NY Giant sent to assist Trail Blazer Senate appointee.


(Jan.10, Andrews Air Force Base, Maryland) The night before his former team was to square off against the Philadelphia Eagles in a crucial play off match up, their former All Pro receiver Plaxico Burress was seated comfortably on an unmarked military aircraft. Across the aisle from him was his personal role model and fellow Obama Special Advisor, Iron Mike “it was consensual sex” Tyson. Burress invited Tyson to go with him. These two close Obama advisors constitute the “Black Ops” team in the new Administration. Tonight they were heading for an undisclosed location in suburban Chicago. Their mission was to “assist” Illinois Senator-in-waiting, Roland Burris in his fight to be seated in the Senate.

(This reporter was granted permission by both men to accompany them on this particular mission and consented to be interviewed while en route. Both Burress and Tyson owe a favor to the TBC.)

As the small jet sliced through the night sky illuminated by a full moon, they spoke about the mission and briefly about their roles in the close knit circle of Obama confidantes and exactly what sort of “services” they may render.

Burress had his long legs stretched out and was drinking a Shirley Temple. He said in a low voice, “Mike and me are going to see Roland Burress. The top brotha in the land, Barak Obama, sent us to ...ah...ya’ know...ah, help him in any way he needs helpin’. Know what I’m sayin’” He continued, “This whole thing with that Senate full of fools and crackers is some for real bullshit. Man, they just can’t keep the brotha out the Senate because he was appointed by a dirty politician. I means, you can’t find a Senator who hasn’t bribed and bought their way into that do-nothing job. Barak told me if I gots to open up a can of whup ass then go do it. She-it, I might needs to open up a six pack of whup ass.” Burress was reluctant to comment further and added only that “Me and Iron Mike gonna be makin a bunch a stops on this mission, ya’ know what I’m sayin’. We probably gonna have to visit that dumb assed old goat, Harry Reid and teach his boney, senile ass a lesson or two. I know Mike wants to slap Nancy Pelosi around and wouldn’t mind beating the piss outta the rest of the Congress too.”

As the flight neared Chicagoland, Tyson stopped playing with his X-box, watching triple X hardcore porno dvd’s and drinking cheap gin. He stated clearly that “I heres to serve President Botox any damned way he needs me or any damned way I wants to. If I gots to break a few bones and faces as I do my thing...well..I just say I’m a patriot doin’ good for the first black President. I’m used to beating the living shit outta dudes and gettin’ paid for it. At least with this job, ain’t nuthin’ gonna change” As the jet was landing he added, “Ain’t NUTHIN’ gonna stop brotha Roland from being in the cinema...ah...Senate.”


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Friday, January 9, 2009



Harry Reid expresses his ‘support’ for Burris

Blago tossing Burris under the Senatorial bus.

(Jan. 9, Washington, DC) Talk about rock and a hard place. Recently impeached Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, appointed his Attorney general, Roland Burris to the once “for sale” Senate seat left vacant when Barak Obama was elected to be the 43rd President. In his last official act ,some would say brazen act, Blago filled Obama’s seat with the well respected Roland Burris. His appointment to the Senate has caused a furor across the board. The addled Senate Majority leader, Harry “I can’t” Reid actually blocked Burris from being sworn in with the rest of the Senate earlier this week. This move has been roundly criticized as unconstitutional, bigoted, and defiant.

The open Illinois Senate seat became embroiled in controversy when it was revealed by Federal Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald that Blago had put it up for sale. open to “the highest bidder” stating privately that “it is worth too much to just give away.” Seeking big time money and quid pro quo benefits, the shit pile with coiffed hair saw the seat as his opportunity to make a quick buck. Blago had been charged with numerous corruption, influence peddling, extortion and misuse of office crimes before finally being impeached by the Illinois Legislature.

Initially many Democratic senators stated they would support the legal appointment of Burris only to reverse themselves after the fact. Many long time Senators are claiming that the Blago pick is not valid and should be rejected due to the “cloud of criminality” the seat now sits under.

The Democratic Senate Caucus has found itself neck deep in steaming cow manure, fractured and seemingly poised to challenge Burris’s entry to the Senate overtly denying that Chamber of what would be it’s only African-American member. Obama had been the only African- American before.

The African-American community has been outraged by the treatment of the self proclaimed “civil rights pioneer”. Particularly infuriating was the physical blockage of Burris from even entering the Capitol as the new Congress was sworn in last Monday. Burris and his posse found themselves literally out in the rain.

The true colors of the Democratic Senate have been exposed as this embarrassing, damaging and potentially paralyzing sage has unfolded under the harsh scrutiny of the national media. Burris has not been at all reluctant to appear before the clamoring press corps, not shy at all expressing his consternation and frustration. Some of his public comments have put the onus squarely on the shoulders of the hapless democratic leadership. The senior Senator from Illinois, Dick “Little Dickie” Durbin has found himself mired in the rising tide of bullshit with his hands fully covered by the reeking muck. First he objected to the appointment, then he tepidly approved it, his current position is unclear but, in keeping with his consistently inconsistent, low-browed senatorial record, is ambiguous at best.

For his part the de facto Leader of the Democratic Party, Barak Obama, has not exercised his power in this matter choosing instead to defer to the brain dead, politically deaf Senate dems.

Tyrell Freeman III, long time adviser and counselor to Burris angrily charged, “Mr. Obama appears to have forgotten where he comes from politically. Chicago politics made him, Springfield politics made him and the Illinois African-American population made him what he is today. His lack of strong support for Mr. Burris is a sign of weakness, cowardice and a bad sign for the future.”

Otis Delbert Pike, the Assistant Deputy to the Senior Assistant for the Obama Transition Team quickly responded saying, “I have respected Mr. Freeman for many years. We served time at Joliet together way back in the day. My respect for him is totally gone now, man. To say that President-elect Obama is weak in anyway is just a lot of bullshit. Tyrell knows it, I know it and Barak knows it. We won’t forget this betrayal and, payback is a bitch, know what I’m sayin’?”

Illinois Representative Bobby Rush who defeated Obama in his first run for office, commented, “I’m outraged. You’d think at least we’d have the Lion of the Senate, Teddy Kennedy, the big fat, slobbering, drunk, speaking out for Roland Burris. I guess all the Dems are just a bunch of chicken shit, mothafuckas. Where the hell is Al Sharpton when you need him?”

At this time the seating of Burris in the Senate is held up on a dubious Senatorial procedural requisite. The Illinois Attorney general, says Reid, must certify the Burris appointment by signature. Most senate experts say this is bullshit and not at all required; it is an antiquated option. Nevertheless, the Burris saga is destined to be the turd floating in the Democratic punch bowl for some time to come.,2933,477757,00.html

Copyright TBC 2009 © All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


Just one huge shnozola.

Part five of a series examining Obama’s Cabinet Appointments

(Jan. 7, Washington, DC) Within hours of the leak from the Obama Transition team that former Clinton White House Chief of Staff, Leon Panetta, would be selected as the new Director of Central Intelligence (DCI) harsh criticism was heard from all quarters. Panetta has a long history of serving in government dating back to the Nixon Administration but has no Intelligence experience aside from a brief stint with the US Army Intelligence in the sixties while he was a serviceman.

The Obama camp was quick to respond to the critics and to play up Panetta’s “vast knowledge of the federal government, White House operations and his good standing with many members of the Congress.” Panetta does have a good reputation and his managerial skills are well known. However, with the Nation facing so many complex issues regarding National Security, many in the intelligence community view this Obama pick as naive’, irresponsible, and dangerous. “I don’t know what the hell Obama is thinking. This seems like a purely political decision, the repayment of a quid pro quo type arrangement where Obama is just rewarding Panetta for his help with Obama’s campaign. This really sucks.”, commented Garth Z. Duckworth currently Acting Assistant Chief of Station for Montenegro and Albania Semi Covert Operations. Overwhelmingly the choice of Panetta for such a vitally important position was met with disgust and strong opposition from active duty members within CIA as well as Senators, Congressmen and other intelligence experts.

Anne Hydrous, a top CIA analyst blasted Panetta as a “political creature, a bureaucrat, a number cruncher and a fool. He may have some intelligence himself but, as far as gathering, analyzing and disseminating real intelligence from our agents around the world, he doesn’t know his ass from his elbow. He won’t be able to put his finger on real threats. Certainly we are afraid he will poke his nose in to areas he is grossly unfamiliar with. Plus, he has a huge honker.”

Leon Panetta smells a rat or a stromboli.

Senators on the Intelligence Oversight Committee expressed mixed feelings regarding Panetta’s appointment. “ We really need good, sound Intelligence now. I wish I had some intelligence myself. Getting Intelligence to help us intelligently protect our National Security seems, to me, like an intelligent thing to do”, noted the dimwitted, Democratic Senator Harry Reid of Nevada, Senate Majority Leader who is showing early signs of senile dementia. Senate Intelligence Committee member Diane Feinstien was initially very harsh in her criticism of Panetta but she backed off somewhat later in the day. “President-elect Obama promised to keep her supplied with Botox and Oil of Olay. Once she got word of that, she became more cooperative”, said Rahm Emmanuel, Obama’s Chief of Staff-to-be. He continued, “Feinstien is a Jew like me and I sure know how to appease Jews. I buy them off, give them what they want in order to get my way. Sometimes I have to make them eat pork but, I always get my way. Zion forever!”

“In my opinion, based on what I know about Leon, he will be highly ineffective at CIA. He doesn’t have a nose for intelligence, for sniffing out actionable intelligence. He wouldn’t recognize good, solid information information if it was in front of his nose. Actually,he can’t even see anything directly under his nose!”, commented CIA White House Liaison Cavendish “Cav” Thrombosis.

Former Clinton White House press Secretary, Joe Lockhart, issued a scathing statement about Panetta. “I worked with Leon for many years. he had his nose in everything. Although he is very bright he couldn’t smell trouble brewing when Monica Lewinsky was hanging out and giving head underneath Clinton’s Oval Office desk. With most important matters he would simply follow his nose. He had no choice, anything that had the faintest odor of trouble. he was onto it but usually fucked it all up. I never liked him. I punched him in the nose once and broke my hand. I hope he gets his nose rubbed into reality his first day at CIA.”


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Tuesday, January 6, 2009



An ass on a horse galloping away from Washington,
back to a scandal.

Part Four in a series examining the Obama Cabinet appointees

(Jan. 6, Washington, DC) The journeyman cabinet member from the Bill Clinton era, designated as Barak Obama’s Secretary of Commerce appointee, withdrew his name from that appointment today amid strong, noxious fumes of scandal began to suffocate Team Obama. According to official records the slovenly, dopey, ass kisser is under investigation for wrongdoing committed as he has served as the Governor of New Mexico. It couldn’t happen to a nicer guy!

Richardson who had his own presidential ambitions was destined to serve somewhere in the Obama Administration simply because he was available to do anything and do it poorly just as he had done in the Clinton White House. During the Clinton years , slobboon Bill was appointed US Ambassador to the UN, a job he obviously was unsuited for and lacked the intelligence to even pretend like he knew what he was doing. After his abject failure at the UN, he was appointed as the Secretary of Energy. During his time in that post he allowed agents of Communist China to steal hundreds of our most highly classified and valuable nuclear technology secrets from various United States laboratories including The Sandia Lab and Los Alamos.

Despite his horrid record of public service, this rotund bum had the arrogance and nerve to run for President of the United States. After having virtually no support from anyone other than his wife and a hair stylist in Santa Fe, he dropped out of the Democratic Primary and became a sought after endorsment feverishly courted by Hillary Clinton. Ultimately, after much begging and pleading from the Clinton’s, Richardson spit in their faces and threw his considerable body weight and miniscule political clout behind Barak Obama. In return, of course, he sought a high ranking position in the Obama Administration and was actually perilously close to obtaining one. Perhaps he would never had made it through the confirmation process in the Senate but, he might have. That would have been a huge blow and embarrassment to Obama who would have had to accept Richardson’s resignation in the early days of his Presidency

(Left) Bill Richardson dissolving into a sputtering, sobbing, blathering heap
after realizing he would not be in the Obama Administration
due to his own greedy, filthy corruption in New Mexico.

Prior to becoming a flackie for Bill Clinton, Richardson had a lackluster, highly ineffective stint as a Congressman from his native New Mexico. He shamelessly promoted himself as a Latino and exploited his alleged Latinoness at every turn. New Jersey Democratic Senator, Robert Menendez, a Cuban - American who served with Richardson in Congress commented, “I always thought Bill was Lebanese or maybe Greek. What kind of name is ‘Richardson’ for a latino? He spoke Spanish fairly well although I could easily tell he had learned it from listening to Berlitz tapes and watching Sabado Gigante. I never trusted him, I never liked him and once I slapped him in the face. He is an awful man,sloppy, gluttonous, unkempt, unhygienic who proudly...loudly broke wind audibly in the halls of Congress.”

It was literally impossible to find anyone in Congress to say anything complimentary about Richardson. The overwhelming response to questions about him were “...Glad to see him go. He should take his stinky lard ass back to the Great Southwest. ...Hope he gets bitten by a rabid rattle snake.”

The Obama Transition team did not respond to our requests for comment.

Copyright TBC 2009 © All Rights Reserved

Copyright TBC 2009 © All Rights Reserved