Tuesday, April 1, 2008


(Mar. 31, Harrisburg, PA) With three weeks remaining before the monumentally important Pennsylvania primary, both democratic contenders are investing time, money and resources across the state. Frontrunner, Barak Obama launched a six day bus tour across the state while Hillary Clinton is practicing her particular brand of retail and wholesale politicking. With a lull in what has been a bruising, contentious often bitter campaign season, Pennsylvania may decide who ultimately captures the nomination. If Clinton wins the Keystone State by a significant margin, new energy will be infused into her currently floundering efforts.

Barak Obama, the Illinois Senator received a big boost when popular democratic Governor, Bob Casey endorsed him last week. They made several appearances together including a rally at Penn State University that drew over 20,000 people. They also bowled Saturday night and the footage of Obama’s gutter balls have been replayed on TV news programs across the nation. It actually appeared to be a light-hearted moment.

The polar opposite of light hearted has been the campaign of Hillary Clinton. As her chances for victory grow slimmer and more and more prominent democrats and observers call for her to end her campaign, she has grown ever more shrill, angry, defiant and deceitful. Her tone is that of a coyote stuck in a bear trap. Her deceit and subterfuge know no bounds.

After having her tale of landing in Kosovo to sniper fire proven to be absolutely fabricated, she said at a rally earlier today that, “There are those folks who want to stop this election.” “No one has expressed the idea that the election should be stopped. That is ludicrous. What more and more folks are saying, however is, by her remaining in a futile effort to get the nomination, she is doing tremendous harm to the party and to the party’s chances against John McClain in November”, commented one high ranking DNC official on the condition of anonymity.

The Clinton camp has been engaged in various behind the scenes efforts to influence delegates, both pledged and the so-called “Super Delegates” in their hopes of altering the electoral dynamic as it currently stands. “She reminds people everywhere, even those who have always supported her, exactly why she has such high negative ratings. She is making a fool of herself and ought to be ashamed”, said a former Clinton campaign operative who has recently left their employ.

While Obama continues to gain widespread support across the country and in Pennsylvania, Clinton continues to send surrogates out to defend her position on everything from her experience, character and her positions on Florida and Michigan. In both of those states the DNC had decided last year to not allow their delegates to be seated if they held their primaries before a specific date. All the candidates including Mrs. Clinton agreed with the DNC ruling and signed pledges to not campaign in either of those states. “She wants to change the rules as if no rules ever have or ever will apply to the Clintons”, commented Ferlin Trusck of the American Interphase Institute.

“When James Carville comes out implying that Bill Richardson’s endorsement of Obama on Good Friday makes him Judas, then, every democrat in the country should be ashamed”, said Congressman Oscar Shabazz Malone from Pennsylvania. He was referring to former democratic presidential candidate and current Governor of New Mexico gave his support to Obama after having served in the Bill Clinton administration. Carville, the serpentine, cue-balled, stuttering, spitting sideshow attraction who ran Bill Clinton’s 1992 campaign has remained a vocal, rabid if not somewhat demented supporter of both Bill and Hillary.

Late this afternoon, it was learned that the Clinton campaign has failed to pay the health insurance premiums on their staff members for almost three months. “The irony here is stunning. Her she is out there championing universal health care and she can’t even provide for her own. What a joke. What an idiot”, noted Senator Patrick Leahy of Vermont. Leahy last week called for Clinton to step out of the race.

Clinton, after viewing the footage of Obama’s less than average bowling performance while on her campaign bus told reporters that, “I’ll debate him twice a day for the next three weeks. I challenge him to a bowling match, a dart game, a boxing match. I will Sump wrestle him, fight him in a steel cage, no-holds-barred style, I will compete against him in a midget tossing contest, arm wrestling or cock-fighting. I will even supply him a cock”. Mrs. Clinton became visibly agitated and began to throw a tantrum or have a fit of some kind. Lanny Davis, an old time Clinton flacky and half-assed lawyer, who was present on the bus ironing Hillary’s panties and pants suit, stepped in and told reporters that “Hillary is under a great deal of stress. She’s eating Pamperin and Excedrin like Bill used to eat Big Macs and donuts. She’s a fighter…a real fighter. She’d beat the hell outta Barak if she could get near him. But, don’t worry; she will win the nomination, even if it kills her and many others”.

As other campaign operatives wrestled a now violently ranting, barely coherent, hissing, spitting, incontinent Hillary to the floor of the bus, others could be heard calling Montel Williams to inquire if they could have his help in paying for their prescriptions.

The Brooding Cynyx © 2008 All Rights Reserved

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