Saturday, December 1, 2007


Facts Emerging About Perpetrator

Rochester NH (Nov. 30, 2007 TBC) After a six hour standoff with law enforcement, a man who entered Hillary Clinton’s New Hampshire campaign headquarters here, surrendered peacefully. The seize, began at approximately 1 o’clock PM EST when a white man walked into the storefront office claiming to have a bomb strapped to his chest. All campaign staff present in the office at that time were immediately taken hostage. The perpetrator, now identified as a local trailer park denizen with a history of mental illness, alcoholism, domestic violence and irritable bowel syndrome, 47 year old Leeland Eisenberg, began releasing hostages shortly after having taken them. First released were a young mother and infant child. By the time Mr. Eisenberg was handcuffed by police, the last hostage, a young female campaign volunteer, was seen exiting the office were she had been held hostage. Senator Clinton was in Virginia for the entire day and never in any danger.

Tonight, Mrs. Clinton, the democratic presidential primary front runner, came here and answered a few questions after making a brief statement. She thanked all the law enforcement personnel for their “efforts and professionalism” and expressed relief and gratitude that all had ended without injury. Hillary, answering a reporter’s question commented that she believed Eisenberg had chosen to take hostages at her campaign office because “he was seeking relief from his pain” and that the entire episode appears now to have been a “cry for help”. While for much of the six hour standoff little was known factually about what was transpiring, in the hours since being taken into custody much has been learned about Leeland “Lee” Eisenberg.

According to local authorities, public records, nosey neighbors and blabbermouths, Eisenberg is no stranger to the Rochester Police Department. Captain Paul Callahan of the RPD told reporters that Mr. Eisenberg had a history of “alcohol and drug use, domestic violence and a short temper”. Eisenberg was due to appear in a local court today for a hearing related to divorce proceedings filed last November by his wife.

Mr. Eisenberg lives in a trailer court in Rochester with a stepson who told authorities that before leaving the trailer today, his step father told him to “watch for me on TV”. A neighbor who wished to remain anonymous told reporters that Eisenberg was seen going to the filling station “everyday for a 12 pack or something. Everyday”. Shemp Muldoon, an acquaintance of Eisenberg’s commented that he “ drank with Lee all the time. Lee liked to drink, I like to drink, so we drank. Together. We drank alot”. Besides his apparent problem with alcohol, investigators are beginning to learn a great deal more about Eisenberg than previously known.

According to a source close to the investigation, a great deal of evidence was being collected from the Eisenberg trailer. “So far they have found many books, magazines and newspaper clippings related to politicians, celebrities and restless leg syndrome. In his bedroom the walls were covered with posters of Ted Kennedy, Rosie O’Donnell, Sonny and Cher and Evel Knievel. Apparently, he had a real admiration for Ted Kennedy and was obsessed by Evel Knievel” Vern Brock, a long time friend of Eisenberg’s told police and reporters that “Lee admired Teddy Kennedy as a politician, a man and a drunk. He was simply amazed that a big, fat, bloated, sloppy drunk like Teddy still held a job. Heck, he’s a goddamned senator. Lee had always been a big fan of Evel Knievel. Actually, I think most of his mental stuff and boozing began after Evel crashed into the Snake River Canyon in 1974. Lee hasn’t really been right in the head since then”.

Eisenberg’s stepson reportedly informed police that Eisenberg had been “ holding some sort of vigil for Evel Knievel. Ever since he found out how sick Evel was, my step dad has been drinking alot, drinking alot everyday. Sometimes he would have fits, throw things at the wall shouting how unfair life was, how Evel had broken so many bones over the years...that sort of stuff. Sometimes he’d start to cry and he would drink even more. One night he couldn’t stop belching. I could tell he was really in pain. I got nervous and asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital. He got real mad at me and, in between these really huge belches he told me that his pain was nothing like the pain Evel had experienced. He said he didn’t care if he belched himself to death. After that, I just went to bed”.

Dr. Trevor Dunkwirth, a local psychologist who had treated and drank with Eisenberg in the past said “ Lee was mentally ill. He was on medication but he couldn’t afford it anymore. I imagine, in his mind, he made the connection between healthcare and Hillary Clinton. He was aware that her campaign has an office here. Perhaps, after learning of the sad passing of Mr. Knievel, Lee had some sort of breakdown. I mean, can you blame him? I cried like a school girl all morning after hearing about the death of Evel Knievel and I’m not even mentally ill”. While that last statement is arguable, Dr. Dunkwirth has been very helpful to state, county and local law enforcement officers and has also spoken with the Secret Service.

As the night progresses here, more details are emerging painting a disturbing picture of Lee Eisenberg. Other sources involved with the investigation speaking off the record have mentioned that “ This Eisenberg was a local whack job, a real lunatic. We found several notebooks his dimwitted stepson identified as belonging to Eisenberg. Some of his writing is very disturbing. Evidently, Eisenberg is a registered democrat. He has always been interested in politics and politicians. He also was fascinated by fat Irish drunkards. That explains the Ted Kennedy connection and the Rosie O’Donnell poster. He was a member of her fan club and at one time he had attempted to gain several hundred pounds so he could look more like her. We also found boxes of material related to that old time daredevil Evel Knievel. Eisenberg had some oddball fascination with him”.

Neighbors confirmed that Eisenberg would often perform stunts when heavily intoxicated. Herman Gnarlless, who lives in a trailer adjacent to Eisenberg’s noted that “ One night I was sittin here just watchin reruns of MASH and I hears all this racket. I put my socks on and went outside and I almost passed out. Ole Lee was drunker than a monkey and all done up in a football helmet and wearin a cape and some other shit. He was ridin around on a bicycle whoopin and hollerin. Next thing I know, Lee takes his bike up on the roof of my trailer and he peddled it right off. He landed on my trash can. Bent the shit outta it. He still owes me money for that. I hope they put him away in some nut house for a long while. He ain’t right”.

Authorities are certain they will learn a great deal more about Mr. Eisenberg in the coming days. He remains behind bars in the Rochester city jail awaiting arraignment. No bond has been set.

Mrs. Clinton canceled her speech to the Democratic National Committee tonight. She will resume campaigning tomorrow in Iowa.

Submitted by TBC New Hampshire Correspondent, Farley Marsden

Copyright © 2007 TBC All Rights Reserved

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