Wednesday, December 5, 2007


All That Matters Is The Yield At Harvest

Cedar Rapids, IA (Dec., 2007, TBC) The obsessive analyzing of the latest polls has reached well beyond the point of absurdity. With every percentage point rise or fall the campaigns, media, and pundits pontificate. These bloviating blowhards actually appear to believe the crap that spews from their collective mouths. What does it all mean? What really matters?

So Hillary is up among middle aged men who bowl while Obama has gained among single, never married women cat owners. John Edwards has made some gains with white unemployed former union members with tattoos and Chris Dodd is losing ground to Joe Biden with the uninsured, minimally educated, heavy drinkers of Iowa. Bill Richardson has a certain lock on the obese, slovenly Latinos with Anglo last names.
Of course Denis Kucinich is guaranteed the votes of all the new-age, UFO sighting, alien abducted, John Lennon fans across Iowa.

Mitt Romney is struggling to disavow his Mormonism as Mike Huckabee is sending shivers down the spines of all beef and pork eating, pro-life, anti-everything else diehards determined to caucus for a Baptist minister.John McCain and Fred Thompson are engaged in a fierce,bitter struggle to win the hearts and minds of the Pro-Iraq War, AARP card carrying, pre-Alzheimers, false teeth wearing demographic which wields tremendous clout here. Many of the students at the University of Iowa who regularly take hallucinogenics, have "Save Tibet" bumper stickers on their Kia's, eat tofu, Twinkies and trail mix are firmly committed to Ron Paul. Perhaps all of them (and Dr. Paul) should be committed somewhere; perhaps a long term psychiatric facility. And on and on it goes.

To scrutinize the insignificant variations in the dozens of polls taking place across Iowa and the rest of the nation, is an exercise in futility. To spend hours and hours discussing and attempting to divine truths from amid the masses of demographic numbers is asinine. But, let’s not be a stick in the mud.

The daily fluctuations in poll numbers are of equal value in the eye of the beholder as is watching corn grow. It takes a good one hundred days to grow corn. Even if the most anal-retentive farmer in Iowa examined his crop closely on a daily basis hoping to determine what his harvest yield will be, he would not only be a fool but an idiot as well.

Once the process begins in earnest it will acquire a life of its own, people will caucus and vote in primaries as they see fit, for whatever reasons they may have, based on their own biases, attitudes, opinions, special interests and the incalculable host of rationales, formulations and bullshit that they utilize in their process. And so it will be.

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