Thursday, November 6, 2008

WHY JESSE WEPT

Reverend Jesse Jackson weeping after
Obama clinched the Presidency.


(Nov. 6, Chicago, IL) As the nation learned of Barak Obama’s historic victory many tears were shed across the land. There were tears of joy, elation, redemption and relief. Americans of all ages, colors and creeds wept for a host of reasons. Among all the tears shed that night and since, perhaps none were more bitter than those that streamed down the chubby cheeks of Jesse Jackson. The good Reverend wept like a child not because of what was won that night but rather for all that was lost. All that he lost.

Jackson was forced to confront the harsh fact that his world was suddenly, forever turned upside down and that the final blow had been dealt to him and other self appointed ‘Black leaders’ of his generation. Despite their diminishing relevance over the last ten years or more, he and his ilk, the “Professional Negroes” clung to their outdated beliefs. Jesse Jackson has made his living simply by being a Professional Negro, a talking head, a polarizing figure claiming to represent his “people” while exploiting them in the most egregious way.

As long as the Jesse Jackson’s of the world could cast blame for every socioeconomic ill facing the “black community” and pompously call for another “commission” or “blue ribbon panel” to initiate a “national dialogue” about race in America, he had an audience. Pseudo-politicians like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton became journeymen protesters, crusaders in search of a cause. They would descend upon the scene of any incident or event anywhere in the country that had racial overtones, real or implied. The LAPD beat Rodney King, illiterate redneck trash dragged James Byrd to death in Jasper, Texas, idiotic high school tensions escalated into racial confrontation in Jena, Louisiana and, lo and behold, within hours, Jesse Jackson was on the scene. In these and many other events he would insinuate himself into the center of the action and, if the event was not already a controversy, by the time he “ministered’ to the family or “prayed in the community”, it was a full blown controversy. Professional Negroes like Jackson lived for controversy; actually lived OFF controversy; it was their livelihood. Who paid for Jesse’s elegant Armani suits, his global travels with luxury accommodations? What is the source of his obviously substantial income?

Self righteous blowhards like Reverend Jackson had their roots in the civil rights movement. They parlayed their experiences from way back then into lucrative careers as well spoken racial rabble-rousers of today. They spawned a generation of equally despicable Professional Negroes who found success in academia. As universities and colleges coast to coast suddenly felt compelled to create departments of African Studies and all sorts of off shoots and derivatives of “Afrocentric” courses, more articulate, presentable - but no less rabble-rousers - than Jackson and his peers, they became the next wave of Professional Negroes. Race baiting, affirmative action benefiting, self important, angry, arrogant ass wipes such as Michael Eric Dyson and Cornell West did not lead protests or sit-ins or strikes. They taught college classes, wrote books and lectured. They were in demand as over paid public speakers, debaters, roustabout “experts” on everything and anything “Black.” The lunacy of their thoughts and ideas, the venom of their resentments made them ever more popular among a certain element, a shrinking number of African Americans still stuck in the mire of their own failures and inadequacies. They had to have some one to blame rather than take responsibility and scum like Dyson and West more more than happy to make them “want to holler”.

As long as they could portray every social and cultural issue in terms of black and white, these charlatans thrived and multiplied. Former Black Panthers were now tenured professors, Ivy League institutions engaged in bitter struggles to lore one Professional Negro or other to their African Studies Department. It had all become so laughable for its transparency and disingenuosity except there was a carefully concealed darker underside to all the righteous indignation. West and Dyson are as far removed from the “community” that they claim to represent that they fear walking the streets of Compton, Harlem, South Philly or Bed-Stuy. They were elite, upper crust, high paid windbags exploiting their own as so many others before them. They treat their “own” people with contempt; their rhetoric reveals their inner most shame and disdain for their own people.

The Professional Negroes had become the modern day incarnation of those African tribal chiefs who sold their own people into slavery beginning 400 years ago. They are no better than those slave traders; just better educated, better dressed, more affluent, ensconced in liberal white, bleeding heart parlors, opining, waxing eloquently about the psych-social impact of rap music. What scum, what lowlifes, what arrogant pieces of shit these Professional Negroes have become.

As Barak Obama waged his long, often contentious campaign for the Presidency, where was Jesse Jackson, the Rainbow Coalition, Al Sharpton, the NAACP and all the other organizations, tax-exempt coalitions and Professional Negro associations that had been leeching the black community for so many years? They were so obviously absent because they knew what they stood to loose with an Obama victory. Already desperately clinging to the fringe of relevance or any real utility for African Americans, they saw their gravy train evaporating.

Yes, Jesse Jackson and countless other Professional Negroes wept as American elected a young, charismatic, intelligent, gifted politician to the Office of the President of the United States who just so happens to be Black. An African-American is the President-elect and the Jackson’s of the world have had the last nail pounded into their coffins. They are now among the irrelevant debris cast along the shoulders of the road to progress. Their time has come and gone; actually , it had came and went long ago. Pathetically crass opportunists like Dyson and West clung to Jim Crow and the sorry excuse that the white man was responsible for keeping the black man down. What do they bloviate about now? Who cares what they have to say? (Who ever really cared?)

Keep crying gentlemen. Cry your way into reality, get out in the real America of today. Leap out of your protective, insular campus cocoons and open your eyes. Wipe your tears away. You are simply no longer needed; not that you ever really were. You all were just shrewd, calculating conscienceless and cold enough to make “your people” believe you were.

Keep hope alive. We shall overcome. My eyes have seen the glory...

Get real.

Note: The opinions expressed above are those of the author. they do not necessarily represent the views, opinions or beliefs of The Palermo Associates, PLC.

Copyright TBC 2008 © All Rights Reserved

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

OBAMA DOES IT

SEVERS HEAD OF GOP SERPENT


(Nov. 4, USA) We elected a new President today and in the process may have exorcised demons – some who have plagued our history for centuries – others significantly younger but no less destructive and divisive. Perhaps the Electoral College drubbing of Republican John McCain and the modest but meaningful Democratic gains in Congress, do signify a collective maturity beyond the obvious. Beyond the majority casting their votes for “The First Black President”, the demographic, regional and socioeconomic composition of that majority apparently said “Barak Obama is our choice for President and, he happens to be a Black Man.” There is no denying race played a role during the long campaign but it did not define it; race was overshadowed by the profound problems facing us at home and abroad.

Circumstances, the dire state of affairs brought about by eight years of horrid Republican rule, including two ongoing wars, the host of economic ills crushing many of us and our diminished standing in the world, all helped set the stage for this Democratic victory, a victory Barak Obama encouraged us all to believe was possible. This 46 year old freshman Senator was absolutely in the right place at the right time and George W. Bush was the stage director. The disgust with the Bush administration and the GOP lead Congressional gridlock was sufficient impetus for the message of change, real change, to resonate above the muck, mire, and atrocious tactics of what we have accepted for far too long: “politics as usual”.

Obama defeated the entrenched partisan politics within his own Party before his victory coast to coast tonight. If the pendulum has swung, as many postulate, of its own cyclical accord, they are blind to or petulantly denying the facts. We the people of every political stripe gradually awoke over the past eight years to find ourselves in a country barely recognizable. we bore silent witness as brick by brick Bush / Cheney methodically disassembled that which was over 228 years in the making. At every opportunity they seized the moment to advance their own distorted world view in blatant disregard, actually with utter disdain, of the majority. The awaken was slow initially but, as more and more of our Constitution was shredded, as more and more of our national treasure in lives and money was wasted in a war of choice while the real war was largely abandoned, the awakening spread. One epic failure after another, one arrogant lie on top of the last, as truths were revealed, those still asleep were decreasing in number.

Into the growing discontent, unease, economic hardships and realization that Bush and Company were not merely wrong, that they were criminally inept, arrogantly dismissive of facts, public sentiment and objective reasoning, Barak Obama stepped up. Chided by members of his own Party for, what they saw as his political precociousness, he was given little chance against the roaring, feared political juggernaut of “The Clinton Machine.” He beat them. He prevailed over their hubristic sense of entitlement to the Office of the President, as much as the voters were increasingly beginning to hunger for real change. Our citizenry was waking up to the fact that an able leader was desperately needed to begin the arduous tasks of setting right all that had gone so dreadfully wrong under George W. Bush. As time went by, it became ever more irrelevant what the skin color was of the agent of change we knew was needed.

This election was more about our hunger for change and direction than it was about ideology. Certainly it was a resounding repudiation of Boy George and his cast of messianic zealots, but also validation that what worked in the past was no longer acceptable. Times were too tough, the challenges too great to simply retreat to our partisan islands and approach the choosing of our next President as a sporting event, an exercise in who throws mud more accurately, which side can shout, intimidate, bully and appeal to the basest of instincts in a dirty, nasty slog to achieve the highest office in our land. Perhaps finally, we began to think, all of that could come to an end; we would not be fooled again.

The best man for these times was victorious tonight. The fact that he is a black man is historically profound in so many ways however, that is not the totality of the message sent by over 52% of those who voted. The politics and politicians, the policies and ideologies that we had become so familiar with, so jaded by, had gotten us collectively into this mess. We could no longer afford red state - blue state cynicism, middle class apathy; the rabid scorn of “the other side”. We were all hurting one way or another, some more than others, and finally realized the collective “we” had been forgotten, neglected and ignored by those in power. Pro life hard core Republicans were paying as much for health care, groceries, gasoline and college tuition as left wing - tree hugging - pro choice Democrats. The sleeping giant, the vast segment of us self identified as independent, middle of the roaders, were at last engaged and ready to stop leaning left or right; stand up straight, ready to vote for right over wrong, for forging forward rather than stumbling backwards.. The voice all were awakening to was that of Barak Obama.

Tonight's victory for Obama does not mark “then” from “now”. It does not automatically connote racial healing, national absolution for the sins of the past nor does it represent the emergence of a “new coalition”. This historic victory may be tinged by some wisp of those elements but its greatest weight is in the fact that we the people made a decision that we were going to be heard, we would matter again, that things had gone far enough, that the last eight years were to be forever defined by our government’s failures, failures of such scope and scale we can not, from the vantage point of the present, appreciate the full ramifications of those failures.

At least now we will have the chance to see what is possible, what can be accomplished once the shit is power washed off the machinery of our federal government and we have an administration committed more towards the greater good, the high road, the restoration of what America has stood for since its founding. We have been so poorly served that our expectations tomorrow may not be as lofty as our hopes tonight. At least we will get some idea if our choice was wise or foolish, thoughtful or reactive, good or bad in 76 days.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/06/us/politics/06repubs.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

Copyright TBC 2008 © All Rights Reserved

Sunday, November 2, 2008

JOE THE PLUMBER WANTED BY POLICE

WURZELBACHER GOES BERSERK
Attacks Obama Look-a-Like At Obama Rally



Ohio plumber seen choking Obama supporter.



(Nov. 2, Cleveland, OH) Just weeks after skyrocketing to international fame Joe Wurzelbacher, the Ohio plumber made famous in the last presidential debate by John McCain, can now add “wanted man” to his many talents. Earlier today during an Obama campaign rally here, the bullet headed unlicensed plumber attacked a man who he initially mistake for Barak Obama himself. According to eye witnesses, Secret Service, Cleveland PD and Ohio State Police reports, the vicious attack took place in a men’s room near the rally site. The victim of the assault identified as Michael T. Barnes, 42 years of age, a cardiac surgeon at the Cleveland Clinic, is currently being treated at an undisclosed hospital. Special Agent Lawrence Sludgeham from the Columbus FBI Office told reporters that “Dr. Barnes received some trauma to his throat and neck regions, several contusions on the back of his head, testicular trauma due to a knee to the groin as well as significant acute emotional distress resulting from the suddenness and brutality of attack.”

According to other men present in the lavatory where the attack occurred, Dr. Barnes was washing his hands at the sink when a “loud, bald, drunk guy” came barging in to the restroom. “This man looked deranged, he looked downright dangerous. He was muttering under his breath about black people, black presidents, Black Velvet, black cats, black lung, black forest cake and, I think, the Black Eyed Peas”, said Ralph Grzenovich from Sandusky. He continued, “The bald drunk suddenly began screaming. He was urinating on the floor. As Dr. Barnes tried to sidestep around him to exit, baldy grabbed him and threw him against the wall. He then shoved his forearm into Barnes’ neck and shouted about the redistribution of wealth, loosing his plumber license, being rebuffed by Sarah Palin and his desire to lick Cindy McCain’s feet. He was really going wild, foaming at the mouth and sweating. I thought he was going to kill that poor guy.”

As other frightened men fled the confrontation in the crapper, Cleveland police officer Stanley Brewshinko ran towards the restroom at the direction of the fleeing, peeing men. “As soon as I opened the door to the men’s room it was like I was hit by a truck. This terribly drunken man just blasted me in the face, pushed me to the ground and kept going. I fired several shots but, apparently, they all missed.”

Other witnesses, who wished to remain anonymous because they “feared” for their safety, said that Joe fled the scene running past and knocking down several police officers and plains clothed agents who tried to tackle him. He was last scene hijacking a Mr. Softee truck and remains at large. His spokesman, Hank Flattus said that Wurzelbacher seemed to be under a great deal of stress since being thrust into the spotlight. “Joe never thought he’d be world famous. Yous gotta remember, just a month or so ago, he was just a low life, dead beat, unemployed plumber who drank himself into a stupor every night. He liked to fish and hunt. He really enjoyed strip clubs and bar fighting. He was just…well…ya know, your ‘Average Joe’. He was especially pissed off last night due to some problems with his country music career. Apparently Joe had contacted Willie Nelson to see if he would be willing to do a remake of his famous song ‘Luchenbach, Texas.’ Joe loves Willie and thought they could cut an album together. Joe said Willie told him to fuck off and never contact him again. Joe slammed the phone down and really just freaked out. He destroyed everything in his house and then went out bowling.”

The Secret Service and other federal, state and local law enforcement authorities have issued a warrant for Wurzelbacher’s arrest. “We remain confident we can collar this mutt before he does bodily harm to any other innocent people particularly, anyone who looks remotely like Barak Obama. We have all his favorite haunts staked out and orders have been given to ‘shoot on sight’. We can’t take any chances with this psycho”, Captain Floyd Flange of the Ohio State Police commented.

For his part, Senator Obama did not learn of the event until he concluded his rally and was being escorted to his next campaign stop. Obama told reporters travelling with him that “The seeds of hatred have been sown by John McCain and Sarah Palin. This is not the kind of politics we need at this time. I knew that Joe the Plumber was a loony when I first met him. Frankly, I sensed he was profoundly disturbed. It seems that John McCain has pushed him over the edge. The fact that he attacked an African American man he mistook for me is a bad sign for the future. If I am elected, and he is captured, I will seek the death penalty.”

Copyright TBC 2008 © All Rights Reserved

Thursday, October 30, 2008

JOE-MANIA SWEEPS THE NATION

WURZELBACHER STANDS TO REAP MILLIONS
From Obscurity to International Fame In A Flash


The most popular American in the civilized world:
Hero, plumber, dupe, dope and heart throb,
Joe the Plumber.

(Oct.30, Defiance, OH) Not since Elvis “The Pelvis” Presley exploded on the Rock n’ Roll scene; not since the birth control pill ushered in the era of free love; not since Silly Putty, The Frisbee, WWF, or the fry Daddy has there been a phenomenon like “Joe The Plumber”. Joe Wurzelbacher, a barely literate, tax evading, bald headed, unlicensed plumber was thrust into the limelight by happenstance and has captured the imagination of the nation, if not the world, in a matter of a few short weeks. His chance encounter with Barak Obama at a campaign rally near Toledo proved to be the catalyst for Joe’s meteoric blast into celebrityhood.

John McCain yanked this dimwitted, chrome domed, goof ball from anonymity during the last Presidential debate by invoking his name dozens of times as the de facto representative of “every man”, the “common man”, the salt of the earth, family values, hard working, God fearing John Q. Public’s that are the backbone of this nation. Since that fateful night, Joe has become iconic; his every word eaten up by the press and public alike. Joe has almost instantaneously become the most popular American in America. His image is plastered everywhere around the world, respected by billions, held in the highest esteem as the living, breathing symbol of baseball, apple pie, Budweiser and the American dream.

Although he missed a campaign appearance with John McCain here this morning due to a wretched hang over, this larger than life buffoon draws unprecedented adoring crowds numbering into the hundreds of thousands where ever he appears. As McCain introduced Joe the Absent, once he realized the wildly popular superstar was not in attendance, he set the crowd on fire saying “well, Joe, thanks for all you’ve done for America.” Old women were seen fainting, younger women were whipped into a frenzy at the mere mention of his name. Men of all ages placed their hands over their hearts pledging allegiance to The Flag and Joe the Plumber. Some in the crowd were seen weeping; others shrieked. Several teenage girls began to tear their clothes off and speak in tongues. Their adoration for Joe, the desire to be in proximity to that inspiring Unclogger, seemed to be driving some of the fevered throngs to madness. Not since The Beatles arrived in America, the Paris Hilton sex tape hit You Tube, or OJ Simpson led LAPD on a low speed chase after butchering his wife, have the masses of Americans been so captivated by a man. Young and old sacrifice life and limb merely to get the chance to touch him, catch a glimpse of him; some, just to be in his presence and hear with their own hungry ears his words of wisdom, patriotism and utter banality.

Corporations, businesses and manufacturers of all types are desperately pursuing Joe to endorse their products or services. Joe is currently being represented by the publicist who counts such stellar, universally recognized, powerhouse entertainers such as John Sedaca, Leon Redbone, AAron Tippin, Carrot Top and Merle Haggard.
Frank Lee Crass, the world renowned media consultant,who has advised Mega-stars including Hulk Hogan, Fats Domino, Kato Kalin, Senator Larry Craig, Ted Bundy, Al Bundy and Ruth Buzzy, has been retained as a member of Team Plumber. Crass met with reporters this afternoon at the Defiance Moose Lodge. “ Joe Wurzelbacher is already bigger than Michael Jordan, Jeffry Dahmer, Brittany Spears, Bob Novak, Michael Jackson and Madonna combined. His earning potential from endorsements, speaking engagements, his country music career, the book he will right and the vast ocean of opportunity he now sails on, will make him one of the richest, best known men on the planet”, Crass noted. He continued, “I can tell you just a few of the offers already pouring in. some of which Joe already has signed contracts for are: Hormel will launch a new liverwurst called ‘Wurzelwurst’, Oscar Meyer ‘Wurzels’ will be in your grocers spam and scrapple aisle shortly, and 432 ‘Wurzelburger’ outlets will open in all 50 states by Christmas. Bill Gates has agreed to change his company’s name to ‘Wurzelsoft’, Volkswagen will be known as ‘Wurzelwagon’ and the City of Winston-Salem, North Carolina has enacted legislation to change it’s name to ‘Wurzel’-Salem, NC. Folks, this is only the beginning”, a beaming Crass shouted.

Hollywood has also been smitten by the knuckle dragging toilet specialist and is planning several projects featuring Joe. Warner Brothers Studios is working on a remake of the 1970’s detective show “Kojak”, with Joe in the title role. Universal Pictures has already inked a deal to have Joe reprise the role made famous by Arnold Schwartzenegger and plans to release “The Wurzelnator” by next summer.

Random House announced just hours ago that Joe will author a series of children’s books, which may lead to a Nickelodeon series entitled, “Joe the Toe”, which of course will star Wurzelbacher. Wurzelbacher will open on Broadway in the famous role played so brilliantly for decades by Yul Brenner, in a star studded revival of “The King and I” updated to “The Plumber and I”.

The only criticism the overwhelming demonstrations of admiration, adulation and agitation Joe is receiving, has come from the campaign of Barak Obama. Joe Axlerose, chief strategist for Obama said, “ While we appreciate the American public’s inexplicable love affair with Joe the mope, we are concerned that he now has a larger Secret Service protective detail than Senator Obama. The Secret Service has taken agents from Obama’s detail and reassigned them to the Joe detail. We find this troubling. Maybe in the future some deranged or even sane people will seek to assassinate Joe, but for now, it seems that Barak Obama might face a greater threat. Wurzelbacher’s misshapen heads looks bullet proof. I assure you, Obama’s is not nearly as thick.”

Copyright TBC 2008 © All Rights Reserved
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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

THE GOOD SHIP USS GOP TAKES ON MORE WATER

McPalin Slip Slidin’ Away

Alaska Republican Senator Ted Stevens
Telling reporters how many bribes he took during an average week.


“…and the nearer your destination, the more
You’re slip slidin’ away.”

Paul Simon

(Oct.27, Hershey, PA) Ted Stevens, the 84 year old Republican Senator from Alaska, was found guilty yesterday on seven felony counts of giving false statements to Congress. These falsehoods were the Senator’s vain efforts trying to hide illegal gifts he received from an oil tycoon and Here today, the GOP Presidential candidate, John McCain called for sleazy, fossilized, corrupt and demented Stevens to resign his Senate seat. Stevens, also known as “The King of Pork” for his ability to deliver continually disproportional amounts of federal money for pork barrel projects to his state of under 700,000 residents. While McCain campaign operatives are beginning to accept the impending landslide that will bury their candidate, some were outspoken regarding the additional damage Steven’s conviction inflicts to the Republican Party just eight days before the election. “Ted Stevens is a true Republican, a real American scumbag, sleaze ball, crooked, greedy hack. The fact that he has been a long time friend of John McCain’s does hurt us at a time we can ill afford even more baggage”, commented a high ranking McCain staff member speaking on the condition of anonymity.

The addled senate veteran, Stevens, pled not guilty to all charges and vowed last tonight to “return home on Wednesday” to fight for his re-election. The specifics of the charges of corruption and bribe taking, influence peddling and felonious stupidity were all related to Stevens taking gifts and services from people in Alaska who had business pending before a committee Stevens chairs. “These gifts, which, in all honesty, amounted to some real crap, were definitely given with the intention of having some return from Stevens. Not only was this a “quid pro quo” arrangement, it was just pitifully stupid. Some of the shit Stevens accepted, like hideously awful furniture, would not even be allowed in a consignment shop. This guy took crap, junk and trash for what? You’d think he’d been bright enough to at least benefit from the bribes he took”, said Assistant Federal Prosecutor Dillard P. Dillon.

Fellow Alaskan and McCain running mate, Governor Sarah Palin, who was politically mentored by the moronic Stevens, did not support McCain in his suggestion for Steven’s the convict to cease his re-election bid and resign from the Senate. “You betchya, I think Ted Stevens is a great man. He’s been good for America, big oil, big business and most importantly for Alaska, Alaskans and himself. Only the out of touch media elite think that a man should resign from the Senate just because he was convicted of seven felonies. What has that got to do with anything?” screamed Palin during this afternoon’s campaign rally.

Stevens’ conviction was just the latest torpedo to strike below water level to the Republican ship which has been listing for weeks. As McCain’s presidential campaign continues to implode, the election prospects for all GOP incumbents is grim. The entire Republican Party finds themselves precariously perched on the sagging shoulders of John McCain. As their standard-bearer, McCain, Captain of their doomed ship, must remain on the bridge. Maritime tradition dictates the he go down with his ship. Hopefully, he will take down the balance of the Republican incumbents with him. After the last air bubbles roil the surface of the sea, no sign will be visible of the hulking wreckage now submerged forever in Davy Jone’s locker.

Copyright TBC 2008 © All Rights Reserved