“IS THIS PURGATORY? NO, IT’S IOWA”
Belching Flatts, IA (Dec 22, 2007. TBC) Unholy alliances run deep here in the “Purgatory on the Plains”. As the slew of wannabe presidential candidates have courted, fed, bribed, paid and otherwise blown the rotund, moronic, self important voters of this god awful state for the last 12 months, the media and pundits alike have documented, commented and attempted to divine truths from a sea of polling numbers. What a colossal waste of time, effort, energy and dignity.
Iowa, at it’s absolute best, is a desolate, unremarkable place. Now, this monochromatic wasteland, shrouded in a fog thicker than creamed corn, has become the de facto center of the political universe. Is there no end to the ironies that define us as a people, a society, culture and political system?
For a brief shining moment every four years the land of cows and corn becomes the epicenter of American presidential politics and, sadly, the rest of the country buys into this charade. Iowa. The word conjures in most urban Americans, the images of sweet bucolic life; fine, sturdy and sure ‘American’ values, salt-of-the-earth hard working farmers in the heartland providing food for the masses by their toils. The fact of the matter is, this sentiment is among the most enduring bullshit myths in the country. Iowa farmers and their brethren in other corn belt states are so heavily subsidized and supported by the taxpaying public that the welfare queens of the late 1980’s look like hard working citizens in comparison. But, all this is besides the point. This is just a minor detour into the particulars of this odd place.
Okay. Let’s see. Huckleberry Huckabee, the Baptist preacher is giving ole’ Mormon Mitt Romney apoplexy. Hillary , ‘my-husband-was-president’ Clinton is in a death match with wet behind the ears Barak Obama. John Edwards will probably get at least 8 votes on Caucus night while Bill Richardson and the rest of that motley crew should vacate the state ASAP. John McCain and Fred Thompson are too busy buying Ex-Lax and DePends to be a real threat. What does it all mean? Nada. Zilch. Zip. Absolutely nothing. The day after the Caucus, the candidates and press will leave. The operatives and operators, the hangers-on, the technical people, producers and support staff will flee from this place as fast as their frozen feet will carry them. And Iowa will remain. It will finally, thankfully fade from the public spotlight and return to its normal, mundane rhythms.
Iowa does something to people. It has an affect that only the natives have immunity to. Candidates and visitors alike suffer from the dismal soul leaching blandness of this place and it is remarkable that these imbeciles actually think they play a vital role in our political process. Let them think that. That somehow balances out the rest of the country’s misconceptions about Iowa.
Christmas lights twinkle in the dense fog that hangs as close to the ground as a politicians hangs to blather. Even the most buoyantly optimistic would consider the most effective method of suicide if they had to endure any time in Iowa. The candidates deserve this. They deserve to have to come here and suck up to these greedy, self righteous, simpletons.
Just two weeks left until the Caucuses. Someone will win on each side. The rest will loose. However, they have all paid a terrible price for their corrupt courtship of this dimwitted populace.
Better book a room at the Motel 7 in Des Moines...2012 is just around the bend.
Cletus E. Yoder for TBC
Copyright © 2007 TBC All Rights Reserved
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
MUSIC LEGEND IKE TURNER DEAD AT 76
WIFE BEATERS, JUNKIES AROUND THE WORLD MOURN
Los Angeles, CA (Dec.13, 2007) Ike Turner, the iconic, legendary, musical genius who many consider as the father of rock and roll, died yesterday at the age of 76. From humble roots in Clarkdale, Mississippi through a successful career as an artist, musician, bandleader and talent scout, Ike Turner contributed beyond measure to the musical genres of rock, soul and several hybrid blends.
Ike enjoyed his greatest accolades as the Ike in Ike and Tina Turner who he discovered when she was just a high school student. After their split some 35 years ago, Tina Turner went on to an extraordinarily successful solo career. Many of the songs made famous by Ike and Tina are among the classics of modern American music.
Ike was a tortured, troubled soul in many ways. His artistic and creative brilliance was often overshadowed by his drug addiction and violent behavior. Ike became a hero to several generations of wife-beaters, thugs, punks,no-account-malt-liquor-drinking-unemployed-deadbeats and, in some sub-sub-segments of society, is hailed as a hero. “Ike didn’t take no shit from no bitch. He was boss and he done showed who ever they was he was boss”, said long time associate and one time cellmate Cleotis Rufus Freeman.
Many of his arrests for battery, domestic abuse and other various brawls, where captured on film and made the TV news clips, helped to popularize the sleeveless, scoop-necked undershirt which came to be known as “The Wifebeater’. “Many times I seen him on the news being locked up for something and damned, he was always lookin mighty fine in that wifebeater T-shirt”, commented childhood friend Willie “T-Bone” Malone.
Mr. Turner will be buried at an undisclosed location.
Los Angeles, CA (Dec.13, 2007) Ike Turner, the iconic, legendary, musical genius who many consider as the father of rock and roll, died yesterday at the age of 76. From humble roots in Clarkdale, Mississippi through a successful career as an artist, musician, bandleader and talent scout, Ike Turner contributed beyond measure to the musical genres of rock, soul and several hybrid blends.
Ike enjoyed his greatest accolades as the Ike in Ike and Tina Turner who he discovered when she was just a high school student. After their split some 35 years ago, Tina Turner went on to an extraordinarily successful solo career. Many of the songs made famous by Ike and Tina are among the classics of modern American music.
Ike was a tortured, troubled soul in many ways. His artistic and creative brilliance was often overshadowed by his drug addiction and violent behavior. Ike became a hero to several generations of wife-beaters, thugs, punks,no-account-malt-liquor-drinking-unemployed-deadbeats and, in some sub-sub-segments of society, is hailed as a hero. “Ike didn’t take no shit from no bitch. He was boss and he done showed who ever they was he was boss”, said long time associate and one time cellmate Cleotis Rufus Freeman.
Many of his arrests for battery, domestic abuse and other various brawls, where captured on film and made the TV news clips, helped to popularize the sleeveless, scoop-necked undershirt which came to be known as “The Wifebeater’. “Many times I seen him on the news being locked up for something and damned, he was always lookin mighty fine in that wifebeater T-shirt”, commented childhood friend Willie “T-Bone” Malone.
Mr. Turner will be buried at an undisclosed location.
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
GOP HOPEFULS LOWER THEMSELVES IN “DEBATE”
Iowa Public TV Should Loose Federal Funding
Johnston, IA (Dec.13, 2007 TBC) “A rose by any other name is still a rose”. Iowa Public Television clearly demonstrated the same does not hold true for a “debate”. While a debate is not a rose it doesn’t have to be a turd. What was billed as a GOP Candidates Debate, conducted and aired by IPTV yesterday afternoon was as far removed from what is conventionally considered to be a debate as the pitiful moderator,Carolyn Washburn, is from Jim Lehrer. Somehow, Ms. Washburn has been able to achieve the position of Editor at the Des Moines Register. She actually makes Yepsen look gifted by comparison and that isn't saying much. It is no wonder that this waste of time was broadcast live at 2:00 PM local time. Had this crap aired during prime time there would have been TV’s tossed out of windows into icy roads across the state.
Granted, virtually all events conducted in the political process today designated as “debates” are nothing like debates in the literal sense. The formats vary as do the rules, hosts and degree to which the opportunity for actual debate is allowed. This sham yesterday was the oddest incarnation of a debate televised thus far in what has been an overabundance of half-assed, YouTube driven, assemblies of candidates on various stages this year.
Being that this event was the final opportunity for a debate prior to the Iowa Caucuses on January 3, 2008, this would have been a great venue to have the leading candidates define, detail and defend their positions on substantive issues. This was truly a missed opportunity. IPTV blew their chance to show the nation that they are a serious journalistic, reporting enterprise not just some federally funded mouthpiece for crop and commodity reports, children’s programming and The Red Green Show. The average voter is all too aware that there is a plethora of vitally important domestic and international issues our next president will face because our current one has spent the last seven years with his empty head up his ass.
The IPTV “debate” was, by far, the oddest format with the most bizarre ground rules yet seen. The moderator looked more like the female warden in some B-grade movie was as competent and effective a moderator as would have been Paris Hilton. Aside from her grime demeanor and hostile enforcement of strict time allotments per candidates answer, she was downright frightening to look at. She obviously attended the Katherine Harris School of make-up application; based on the color of her cheeks, she was either suffering from frostbite of a 107 degree fever.
While the cornerstone principals of democracy must be maintained throughout the body politic, particularly in the presidential nominating process, this late in the game, perhaps some discretion should have been exercised when invitations to participate were sent out. Tom Tancredo, Duncan Hunter and Ron Paul have most likely ridden their respective ego-fueled horses as far as they will go. And then there was Alan Keyes. If having filed candidacy papers, having an office and one staffer in Iowa is sufficient criteria for the folks at IPTV to give him a podium, it is amazing that there were only seven participants. Alan Keyes presence was a waste of time; his irrelevance makes his participation even more absurd. His thoughts and style are far better suited for one of the half-witted shout fests like Hardball or any of the trash aired on FOX News.
One rule that was not in effect and usually is not was that the candidates should be required to answer questions with specifics. Duncan Hunter can easily spew out broad statements like “I will strengthen our military. I will return good paying jobs to America. I will secure our borders” and other such horseshit. Noble ambitions all but, the follow up question to every platitude uttered should automatically be “How”? All the candidates are guilty of regurgitating long lists of all that they would accomplish if elected. Why are they not compelled to tell the American public exactly how they intend to accomplish their goals? When the Moderator with the Mommy Dearest make-up asked the participants to provide a New Year’s resolution suggestion for one of their fellow candidates, not one of them did so. This is a minor point to be sure because the question, like most of them, was idiotic. By pre-arranged agreement, no questioning related to Iraq or immigration was permitted. What kind of shit is that? Arguably, these are two of the more prominent issues on voters’ minds.
The democratic candidates will have their turn on IPTV today. If any of them have any sense or self respect, they would call IPTV and inform them that they have better ways to waste an afternoon in Iowa. Lord knows, Carolyn Washburn, the inept moderator clearly needs some time off, among other things such as remedial courses in Journalism 101, Public Speaking and telling time.
Cletus E. Yoder writing for TBC.
Copyright © 2007 TBC All Rights Reserved
Iowa Public TV Should Loose Federal Funding
Johnston, IA (Dec.13, 2007 TBC) “A rose by any other name is still a rose”. Iowa Public Television clearly demonstrated the same does not hold true for a “debate”. While a debate is not a rose it doesn’t have to be a turd. What was billed as a GOP Candidates Debate, conducted and aired by IPTV yesterday afternoon was as far removed from what is conventionally considered to be a debate as the pitiful moderator,Carolyn Washburn, is from Jim Lehrer. Somehow, Ms. Washburn has been able to achieve the position of Editor at the Des Moines Register. She actually makes Yepsen look gifted by comparison and that isn't saying much. It is no wonder that this waste of time was broadcast live at 2:00 PM local time. Had this crap aired during prime time there would have been TV’s tossed out of windows into icy roads across the state.
Granted, virtually all events conducted in the political process today designated as “debates” are nothing like debates in the literal sense. The formats vary as do the rules, hosts and degree to which the opportunity for actual debate is allowed. This sham yesterday was the oddest incarnation of a debate televised thus far in what has been an overabundance of half-assed, YouTube driven, assemblies of candidates on various stages this year.
Being that this event was the final opportunity for a debate prior to the Iowa Caucuses on January 3, 2008, this would have been a great venue to have the leading candidates define, detail and defend their positions on substantive issues. This was truly a missed opportunity. IPTV blew their chance to show the nation that they are a serious journalistic, reporting enterprise not just some federally funded mouthpiece for crop and commodity reports, children’s programming and The Red Green Show. The average voter is all too aware that there is a plethora of vitally important domestic and international issues our next president will face because our current one has spent the last seven years with his empty head up his ass.
The IPTV “debate” was, by far, the oddest format with the most bizarre ground rules yet seen. The moderator looked more like the female warden in some B-grade movie was as competent and effective a moderator as would have been Paris Hilton. Aside from her grime demeanor and hostile enforcement of strict time allotments per candidates answer, she was downright frightening to look at. She obviously attended the Katherine Harris School of make-up application; based on the color of her cheeks, she was either suffering from frostbite of a 107 degree fever.
While the cornerstone principals of democracy must be maintained throughout the body politic, particularly in the presidential nominating process, this late in the game, perhaps some discretion should have been exercised when invitations to participate were sent out. Tom Tancredo, Duncan Hunter and Ron Paul have most likely ridden their respective ego-fueled horses as far as they will go. And then there was Alan Keyes. If having filed candidacy papers, having an office and one staffer in Iowa is sufficient criteria for the folks at IPTV to give him a podium, it is amazing that there were only seven participants. Alan Keyes presence was a waste of time; his irrelevance makes his participation even more absurd. His thoughts and style are far better suited for one of the half-witted shout fests like Hardball or any of the trash aired on FOX News.
One rule that was not in effect and usually is not was that the candidates should be required to answer questions with specifics. Duncan Hunter can easily spew out broad statements like “I will strengthen our military. I will return good paying jobs to America. I will secure our borders” and other such horseshit. Noble ambitions all but, the follow up question to every platitude uttered should automatically be “How”? All the candidates are guilty of regurgitating long lists of all that they would accomplish if elected. Why are they not compelled to tell the American public exactly how they intend to accomplish their goals? When the Moderator with the Mommy Dearest make-up asked the participants to provide a New Year’s resolution suggestion for one of their fellow candidates, not one of them did so. This is a minor point to be sure because the question, like most of them, was idiotic. By pre-arranged agreement, no questioning related to Iraq or immigration was permitted. What kind of shit is that? Arguably, these are two of the more prominent issues on voters’ minds.
The democratic candidates will have their turn on IPTV today. If any of them have any sense or self respect, they would call IPTV and inform them that they have better ways to waste an afternoon in Iowa. Lord knows, Carolyn Washburn, the inept moderator clearly needs some time off, among other things such as remedial courses in Journalism 101, Public Speaking and telling time.
Cletus E. Yoder writing for TBC.
Copyright © 2007 TBC All Rights Reserved
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
ALEX TREBEK SUFFERS HEART ATTACK
JEOPARDY HOST NEARLY DIES
Paramedics Unable To Provide Questions for Answers.
Los Angeles, CA ( Dec. 12, 2007, TBC) The 67 year old host of the longest running TV game show, Jeopardy!, Alex Trebek, suffered what doctors are classifying as a “minor heart attack” yesterday. The long time host of the popular quiz show was reported to be resting comfortably in a Los Angeles area hospital.
According to paramedics and LAFD personnel who responded to the 911 call at his palatial residence, Mr. Trebek was close to contributing to his own demise. “ When we first arrived on the scene, the patient immediately began asking questions...I mean, asking answers”, commented LAFD EMT Orlando Mas-Cruz. Mas-Cruz continued, “ The patient asked me, like, he said, ‘ The nearest cardiac center to this location is...?’. I told him he was going to Cedars Sinai and he shouts “wrong”, the proper answer is “ What is Cedars Sinai Hospital’”
Apparently emergency personnel and first responders faced significant intellectual challenges while attempting to administer to Mr. Trebek. LAFD firefighter Tyrell Leon Scruggs, who was among the first on the scene told reporters, “ The patient was not in a great amount of obvious distress. When I arrived he took my hand and asked me ‘What Asian capitol has the largest Muslim population’? I told him, I wasn’t sure and at that point he became combative. He got really agitated and told me that I was excluded from Double Jeopardy. I told him he could kiss my fat black ass. He responded that I should go fuck myself. At that point I applied four-point restraints and took his sorry ass to the hospital”.
In the ER of Cedars Sinai, Trebek seemed to become more animated. The first physician to examine him, Dr.Joyce Phillips said, “Mr. Trebek did not appear to be in obvious crisis. His initial EKG showed a normal sinus rhythm. His blood pressure was elevated. I ordered a normal blood panel with cardiac enzymes. The patient grabbed my ass and asked me ‘What is the radial binary circumference of a polyhedron’? I was taken aback and told him to be still. He persisted and asked me a number of obtuse, very difficult questions. Finally, I wrote orders for him to be sedated”.
Hospital spokesperson Leah Applewhite-Snork told reporters at a press conference that “ Mr. Trebek was very close to expiring. He appeared, to the first responders, to be more interested in harassing and embarrassing them seeking questions to answers very few among us could provide. One EMT told me that Mr. Trebek became violent, began shouting, farting, belching and foaming at the mouth because our EMT could not provide the question to the answer of ‘Name the Sub-Saharan nation to first realize drought was a long term problem in Africa’. Our EMT, who was extremely fortunate to obtain his GED, told Mr. Trebek that Sudan was the first Sub-Saharan nation to realize that fact. Mr. Trebek became extraordinarily agitated and yelled at our EMT that he must respond to the statement in the form of a question.”
According to LAFD, LAPD and EMT reports, Mr. Trebek was beaten moderately about the face and neck. Subsequently, he was admitted to the CCU where he remains heavily sedated, under armed guard and restrained. A spokesman for the TV program Jeopardy! told reporters that “Alex has been under a great deal of stress for a long, long time. We knew he drank. We were aware of his anal-retentive and bipolar disorders. Frankly we did the best we could with him. He was a very difficult man to deal with. He demanded perfection from those around him and, when he didn’t get it, he went totally berserk. Often, he masturbated violently on the set. It was gross. Art Fleming was like Mother Teresa compared to this whacknut”.
Jeopardy! reruns will begin to air tomorrow at 7 pm EST. Consult local listing for details.
Copyright © 2007 TBC All Rights Reserved
Paramedics Unable To Provide Questions for Answers.
Los Angeles, CA ( Dec. 12, 2007, TBC) The 67 year old host of the longest running TV game show, Jeopardy!, Alex Trebek, suffered what doctors are classifying as a “minor heart attack” yesterday. The long time host of the popular quiz show was reported to be resting comfortably in a Los Angeles area hospital.
According to paramedics and LAFD personnel who responded to the 911 call at his palatial residence, Mr. Trebek was close to contributing to his own demise. “ When we first arrived on the scene, the patient immediately began asking questions...I mean, asking answers”, commented LAFD EMT Orlando Mas-Cruz. Mas-Cruz continued, “ The patient asked me, like, he said, ‘ The nearest cardiac center to this location is...?’. I told him he was going to Cedars Sinai and he shouts “wrong”, the proper answer is “ What is Cedars Sinai Hospital’”
Apparently emergency personnel and first responders faced significant intellectual challenges while attempting to administer to Mr. Trebek. LAFD firefighter Tyrell Leon Scruggs, who was among the first on the scene told reporters, “ The patient was not in a great amount of obvious distress. When I arrived he took my hand and asked me ‘What Asian capitol has the largest Muslim population’? I told him, I wasn’t sure and at that point he became combative. He got really agitated and told me that I was excluded from Double Jeopardy. I told him he could kiss my fat black ass. He responded that I should go fuck myself. At that point I applied four-point restraints and took his sorry ass to the hospital”.
In the ER of Cedars Sinai, Trebek seemed to become more animated. The first physician to examine him, Dr.Joyce Phillips said, “Mr. Trebek did not appear to be in obvious crisis. His initial EKG showed a normal sinus rhythm. His blood pressure was elevated. I ordered a normal blood panel with cardiac enzymes. The patient grabbed my ass and asked me ‘What is the radial binary circumference of a polyhedron’? I was taken aback and told him to be still. He persisted and asked me a number of obtuse, very difficult questions. Finally, I wrote orders for him to be sedated”.
Hospital spokesperson Leah Applewhite-Snork told reporters at a press conference that “ Mr. Trebek was very close to expiring. He appeared, to the first responders, to be more interested in harassing and embarrassing them seeking questions to answers very few among us could provide. One EMT told me that Mr. Trebek became violent, began shouting, farting, belching and foaming at the mouth because our EMT could not provide the question to the answer of ‘Name the Sub-Saharan nation to first realize drought was a long term problem in Africa’. Our EMT, who was extremely fortunate to obtain his GED, told Mr. Trebek that Sudan was the first Sub-Saharan nation to realize that fact. Mr. Trebek became extraordinarily agitated and yelled at our EMT that he must respond to the statement in the form of a question.”
According to LAFD, LAPD and EMT reports, Mr. Trebek was beaten moderately about the face and neck. Subsequently, he was admitted to the CCU where he remains heavily sedated, under armed guard and restrained. A spokesman for the TV program Jeopardy! told reporters that “Alex has been under a great deal of stress for a long, long time. We knew he drank. We were aware of his anal-retentive and bipolar disorders. Frankly we did the best we could with him. He was a very difficult man to deal with. He demanded perfection from those around him and, when he didn’t get it, he went totally berserk. Often, he masturbated violently on the set. It was gross. Art Fleming was like Mother Teresa compared to this whacknut”.
Jeopardy! reruns will begin to air tomorrow at 7 pm EST. Consult local listing for details.
Copyright © 2007 TBC All Rights Reserved
Friday, December 7, 2007
KNEE JERK NATION
From “A Day of Infamy” to ‘The Amazing Race’
(A Somewhat Feverish Rant)
It is always after the fact. In the aftermath of whatever the latest mayhem, catastrophe or headline grabbing crime, experts, pundits, academics of every stripe and a veritable legion of other commentators, appear on TV in perfusion to a nauseating degree. Their words, thoughts, scoldings and exhortations appear in the print media for days on end. It is always and ONLY after this or that has occurred that these people emerge from whatever isolated cloistered recess they normally inhabit, to grace us with their wisdom, insight and recommendations. This happens inevitably, with such sickening regularity that, by and large people tune out.
We are truly a nation, a culture, a society, on every level and strata that is reactionary. Once some odd occurrence captures our collective attention briefly, we are ripe and ready to react. We can react with the best of them. Our most glaring weakness is exposed: our inability to think ahead, to plan and prepare: to anticipate the unanticapatable. The recent examples that illustrate all too vividly this awful fact stand as stark examples of the abundant inherent failings in every sector from governmental to institutional. The shortness of our collective memory is such that we remain vulnerable, unprepared and complacent to the point of insanity.
Our unpreparedness and complacency aside, the level of after-the-fact debate, analysis and saturation media coverage serve no legitimate purpose. Two young boys walk into Columbine High School and open fire. An angry student at Virginia Tech goes on a pre-planned shooting spree bringing terror and death to that campus. We witness hurricanes, forest fires, floods and acts of barbarism disguised as terrorism. After each of these events and so many unmentioned similar ones, the airwaves are flooded with all the voices of reason. Psychiatrists explain all the signs missed by teachers, parents and peers prior to school shootings. Bullying experts loudly berate us for picking on these kids. Our own federal government, charged with our collective safety and security is exposed as being systemically, terminally inept. The intelligence community (and the untold trillions they have spent) proves to be antiquated if not obsolete; their dysfunction has cost how many lives? But former members of this committee, that agency, some think tank or other are only too eager to get on any and every news broadcast to say “I told ya’ so but ya’ didn’t listen”. They are as pathetic as those they condemn.
Now, Omaha. The predictable syndrome has manifest as usual. Let’s all try to understand and sympathize with this Hawkins guy. There is a certain value in seeking to understand the pathology, the etiology of a psyche capable of executing this behavior. However, the level of the public discourse is rarely serious; it is primarily sensational, tabloidistic crapola being passed off as ‘news’. Is it any wonder?
Societally, we are more concerned about Brittany Spears’ parental ability, American Idol contestants, this reality show or that sit-com, Brad Pitt or any other among hundreds of celebrities, entertainers, actors, musicians, athletes, glitz, shits and gloss than any actual news. This is a main reason why we find ourselves in the cultural condition and political predicaments we do. We tend not to pay attention to the things that matter until after it is far too late. This is one of the defining characteristics of our time.
How many of us realize that today is the anniversary of the attack at Pearl Harbor? How many of us will remember the significance of September 11, 2001 thirty or forty years from now? Some are already complaining about having commemorative services on the date just six years after the fact. What has substantively changed since that day, from the “lessons learned”? Basically, nothing. But that is who we are, that is who we elect and that is who our leaders are.
We drug our children because they ate victims of ADD. We excuse our co-workers because they are burdened with ADHD and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. We profess to not want to offend and pretend to not offend under the guise of political correctness yet, we remain a society deeply divided, fractious, biased almost tribal in some respects. The notion of the collective or greater good has been lost; tossed about politically, belittled and associated with liberalism. However, without some regard for that concept, we will remain a floundering people, a nation Balkanized.
We like to think of ourselves as tough, kick-ass, people. We celebrate the basest of instincts, romanticize criminality, depravity and stupidity while, in reality our military has been brought to a virtual stalemate in an asymmetrical conflict we had no clue how to conduct from the outset. But, we all support our troops; they are, after all, the greatest military force ever assembled. Maybe so. If the Cold War was on-going our military would be ready to launch decades old plans and strategies and would most likely prevail in such a conventional face-off. But, we were unable to adapt, too big, awkward, clumsy as well as arrogant, smug and complacent to even contemplate Goliath’s vulnerability to the David’s of the world. And where is Osama Bin Laden? That’s right.
This is not an indictment of the left or right, of democrats, republicans, independents, red or blue states, viewers of FOX and MSNBC. This is an American condition, this is our collective burden. This is real, all of it.
Our political candidates like to speak about our obligations to future generations, our children and our children’s children. Noble ideals, often powerful argumentative symbolism. Well, if any of that belief exists within us it had better emerge soon.
Copyright © 2007 TBC All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2007 BronxWest Consulting
(A Somewhat Feverish Rant)
It is always after the fact. In the aftermath of whatever the latest mayhem, catastrophe or headline grabbing crime, experts, pundits, academics of every stripe and a veritable legion of other commentators, appear on TV in perfusion to a nauseating degree. Their words, thoughts, scoldings and exhortations appear in the print media for days on end. It is always and ONLY after this or that has occurred that these people emerge from whatever isolated cloistered recess they normally inhabit, to grace us with their wisdom, insight and recommendations. This happens inevitably, with such sickening regularity that, by and large people tune out.
We are truly a nation, a culture, a society, on every level and strata that is reactionary. Once some odd occurrence captures our collective attention briefly, we are ripe and ready to react. We can react with the best of them. Our most glaring weakness is exposed: our inability to think ahead, to plan and prepare: to anticipate the unanticapatable. The recent examples that illustrate all too vividly this awful fact stand as stark examples of the abundant inherent failings in every sector from governmental to institutional. The shortness of our collective memory is such that we remain vulnerable, unprepared and complacent to the point of insanity.
Our unpreparedness and complacency aside, the level of after-the-fact debate, analysis and saturation media coverage serve no legitimate purpose. Two young boys walk into Columbine High School and open fire. An angry student at Virginia Tech goes on a pre-planned shooting spree bringing terror and death to that campus. We witness hurricanes, forest fires, floods and acts of barbarism disguised as terrorism. After each of these events and so many unmentioned similar ones, the airwaves are flooded with all the voices of reason. Psychiatrists explain all the signs missed by teachers, parents and peers prior to school shootings. Bullying experts loudly berate us for picking on these kids. Our own federal government, charged with our collective safety and security is exposed as being systemically, terminally inept. The intelligence community (and the untold trillions they have spent) proves to be antiquated if not obsolete; their dysfunction has cost how many lives? But former members of this committee, that agency, some think tank or other are only too eager to get on any and every news broadcast to say “I told ya’ so but ya’ didn’t listen”. They are as pathetic as those they condemn.
Now, Omaha. The predictable syndrome has manifest as usual. Let’s all try to understand and sympathize with this Hawkins guy. There is a certain value in seeking to understand the pathology, the etiology of a psyche capable of executing this behavior. However, the level of the public discourse is rarely serious; it is primarily sensational, tabloidistic crapola being passed off as ‘news’. Is it any wonder?
Societally, we are more concerned about Brittany Spears’ parental ability, American Idol contestants, this reality show or that sit-com, Brad Pitt or any other among hundreds of celebrities, entertainers, actors, musicians, athletes, glitz, shits and gloss than any actual news. This is a main reason why we find ourselves in the cultural condition and political predicaments we do. We tend not to pay attention to the things that matter until after it is far too late. This is one of the defining characteristics of our time.
How many of us realize that today is the anniversary of the attack at Pearl Harbor? How many of us will remember the significance of September 11, 2001 thirty or forty years from now? Some are already complaining about having commemorative services on the date just six years after the fact. What has substantively changed since that day, from the “lessons learned”? Basically, nothing. But that is who we are, that is who we elect and that is who our leaders are.
We drug our children because they ate victims of ADD. We excuse our co-workers because they are burdened with ADHD and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. We profess to not want to offend and pretend to not offend under the guise of political correctness yet, we remain a society deeply divided, fractious, biased almost tribal in some respects. The notion of the collective or greater good has been lost; tossed about politically, belittled and associated with liberalism. However, without some regard for that concept, we will remain a floundering people, a nation Balkanized.
We like to think of ourselves as tough, kick-ass, people. We celebrate the basest of instincts, romanticize criminality, depravity and stupidity while, in reality our military has been brought to a virtual stalemate in an asymmetrical conflict we had no clue how to conduct from the outset. But, we all support our troops; they are, after all, the greatest military force ever assembled. Maybe so. If the Cold War was on-going our military would be ready to launch decades old plans and strategies and would most likely prevail in such a conventional face-off. But, we were unable to adapt, too big, awkward, clumsy as well as arrogant, smug and complacent to even contemplate Goliath’s vulnerability to the David’s of the world. And where is Osama Bin Laden? That’s right.
This is not an indictment of the left or right, of democrats, republicans, independents, red or blue states, viewers of FOX and MSNBC. This is an American condition, this is our collective burden. This is real, all of it.
Our political candidates like to speak about our obligations to future generations, our children and our children’s children. Noble ideals, often powerful argumentative symbolism. Well, if any of that belief exists within us it had better emerge soon.
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Copyright © 2007 BronxWest Consulting
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