Tuesday, August 12, 2008

AN AUGUST SURPRISE

Proof That Campaigns Need to Adapt In A Heartbeat
Opportunity as Audition for McCain & Obama


(August 12, NYC) Perhaps, if this not a hint of what is to come, it should be a potent reminder of what potentialities, possibilities, unforeseen events and the host of unknown variables in our increasingly complex, interconnected world.

Parts of the world are focused on the Olympic Games in China. Others, more concern about the happenings in their own regions and backyards such as residents of Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Georgia, Africa, Palestine and others locations rife with conflict, oppression and poverty. Some Americans were anxiously waiting to see photos of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitts’ twins, still others are consumed with other tawdry, banal issues de jour as they materialize. Much of the country is beginning to realize that a very important presidential election will be held here in 80 some odd days. We are in the midst of yet another presidential campaign that, despite the enormity of the challenges facing us as a country and our next president has once again devolved into gutter politics.

Certainly someone had to have noticed what Russia was preparing to do in Georgia. Wasn’t our Secretary of State a soviet expert before she became a useless Cabinet member? Putin’s Russia has been slowly yet persistently, steadily moving more in the direction away from democracy back to a more Soviet styled society and government. While the United States has been bogged down in Iraq and having growing troubles with a resurging Taliban and Al Qaeda in Afghanistan, Russia has been exerting more and more influence regionally and internationally. Despite the fact that George W. Bush claims to have “looked into” Putin’s “soul”, Vladimir has gone from President of Russia to Prime Minister with de facto control of every aspect of the Russian government. His hand picked successor as President Dmitry Medvedev serves basically as a figurehead while Putin, the former KGB operative, pulls the strings. And they are old familiar strings to him and his cabal of hardliners anxious to exert their former strength.

The last 20 years has seen what was thought to be a mighty, super power, the USSR, exposed as a failed nation that had squandered all resources to finance a huge military apparatus. After the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989, the Soviet Union crumbled and each of their once sovereign states sought that sovereignty again. Some were quicker than others to move forward and old ethnic and regional disputes complicated matters. Their economy was in a shambles and by the time Boris Yelstin staggered his way into the Kremlin, Russia was teetering on the edge of anarchy. Many of the suffering there longed for the days of Communism despite the harshness of their lives during the 60 years of Communist, iron fist rule.

Into the breach step the French, Germans and other European countries to broker a “cease-fire”. The breach was created by George W. Bush, his hapless administration devoid of a coherent foreign policy. An administration that literally ignored the rest of the world and all its evolving complexity to invade Iraq when the United States real battles should have been fought relentlessly in Afghanistan. The atrocities perpetrated by Bush and company have robbed the US of all credibility as an honest broker, a just super power bound by the rule of law and the world has watched as the Mighty America has been rendered bogged down by various insurgents on both fronts were our troops are engaged and dying. They have watched our nation treasure vanish as we become ever more financial indebted to the Chinese, Saudis and others reaping rewards from our lack of fiscal discipline and precarious economic situation.

So now, our presumptive presidential candidates have decided to use this crisis in Georgia as a bat with which to hit each other over the head. McCain is growing more rabidly hawkish with each speech he manages to stumble through. He is intent on rattling sabers we simply do not have and Russia knows we are so military depleted, stretched so thin, we could not become involved. Bush has pushed for Georgia and other former Soviet states to be granted membership in NATO. Obviously, this was more than Putin was willing to sit idly by and observe. John McCain in throwing down gauntlets, drawing lines in the sand and issuing all sorts of bombastic statements that say more about what a McCain administration’s foreign policy would be than any speech he could possibly give.

Democrat Barak Obama is determined to not be perceived as weak and McCain is determined to paint him as such. Perhaps a more Obama-like approach comprised of a robust diplomatic effort globally, a strong , full staffed Foreign Service, a State Department that actually did something, would not have us in the position Bush has left us.

But, politics will be politics and this August Surprise may prove to be an opportunity for the American voters to get a sense how each of these men will conduct our Foreign Policy, how each of them will value our forces, our sons and daughters, our blood and our economic resources. Which is more carrot and which is more stick?

We have a hell of a choice to make and we had better start paying attention and seeing beyond the standard Republican versus Democrat rhetoric that has rendered us unable to accomplish anything domestically of internationally since 2000.

Think. Read. Think some more. Vote.

Copyright TBC 2008 © All Rights Reserved
Copyright Bronwest Consulting 2008 © All Rights Reserved
This is a Special Foreign Affairs Commentary produced by the Intelligence Unit of Bronxwest Consulting.

Monday, August 11, 2008

BUSH TO PUTIN: GET OUT OF GEORGIA NOW

President Vows “Swift Retaliation” If Russians Approach Alabama

(August 11, Washington, DC) As Russian troops continue their assault on the sovereign nation of Georgia, a former Soviet state republic, George W. Bush has issued his harshest rebuke of Russia and particularly of Vladimir Putin, the Prime Minister of Russia. Shortly after his first personal meeting with then Russian President Putin in late 2001, President Bush was quoted saying he had “looked into his (Putin’s) soul.” Apparently, their relationship has become increasingly strained as Putin’s Russia has taken several significant steps backwards in their nascent efforts towards a more open society and free market economy. All of this has transpired while George W. Bush has been in the White House.

While President Bush played volleyball with some of the members of the US Olympic Team athletes competing in China, the Russian Army and Air Force pushed their way through the disputed separatist province of South Ossetia and have reached the Capitol city of Gori leaving a mass of dead and wounded in their wake. The Russian forces also launched a massive air raid on the City of Tkviavi.

Upon his return to the White House after bumbling around in Beijing for the Olympic opening ceremony, President Bush answered reporters’ questions earlier today. “I have made it clear and, ah, Dick has too, that, uh, ah, um, this thing in Georgia will not stand. It is unacceptable. If Putin plans on moving his troops towards Alabama, Florida or South Carolina, ah, we, I, ah, me and Dick will retaliate. We will hunt them all down. We will get them dead or alive.” Mr. Bush appeared genuinely taken aback when reporters pointed out that the Russian aggression was occurring in what was once Soviet Georgia rather than the US State of Georgia.

When Melissa Boinkmi of FOX News pressed Mr. Bush on the issue he abruptly responded, “Hey, it doesn’t really matter. I won’t tolerate any placed named Georgia to be attacked by Russia. I’ve spent rainy nights in Georgia, I have had Georgia on my mind and once, Laura and I took a midnight train to Georgia. The Russians have to understand this administrations commitment to Georgia’s all over, the, um, ah, world.”

By this point, President Bush appeared to be extremely disoriented or solidly constipated. White House Press Secretary, Dana Perrino, continued the press conference as the President was lead away by his aides. Ms. Perrino was at a loss to explain Bush’s behavior and obvious idiocy. She ended the session saying, “If you were under as much pressure as the pressure he’s under you’d know what pressure like that kind of pressure is like.”

Copyright TBC 2008 © All Rights Reserved

Sunday, August 10, 2008

JOHN EDWARDS AFFLICTED WITH RARE FETISH:

WHEN SEXUAL AROUSAL AND ILLNESS BECOME LINKED


(August 10, New York, New York) With the recent revelations that former ambulance-chasing lawyer, North Carolina Senator, and Democratic presidential candidate’s, John Edwards, had an affair with New Age tramp,former NYC barfly, drugged up floosie, Rielle Hunter, one of the rarest and certainly one of the most bizarre sexual fetishes has been thrust out of the shadows of psychiatry into the public domain. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV) for Psychiatry catalogues over 88 sexual fetishes from the relatively benign to the highly outlandish, deviant, perverted and criminal. While some of the more common fetishes are well known by the American public, the majority of them remain outside the realm of “normal” behavior. Some are so hard to imagine that the professional literature and the psychiatric community is lacking in treatment for those afflicted with these perverse, often psychotic fetishes.

Last week, when Mr. Edwards admitted publically that he had an affair with Rielle Hunter “while my wife was in remission” shone a harsh light on the very rare fetish known as Arousal By Diseasism (ABD) or Morbidfornicatism. These are basically interchangeable terms for men who find sexual arousal only in the company of very ill, if not terminally ill women. Edwards wife of over 25 years, Elizabeth, has been fighting breast cancer for several years and, early in this presidential primary season, she admitted to a reoccurrence of her cancer with an ominous prognosis. She has had periods of remission and during one of them her husband acted out in sexually inappropriate ways.

Dr. William Blast O’Cyte, the Director of the Johns Hopkins Department of Sexual Perversion said during a recent interview, “I understand from various sources within my specialty that Mr. Edwards has a long history of displaying inappropriate sexual conduct. He appears to have been getting progressively worse with each passing year. It has been documented by an anonymous physician from South Carolina, where Edwards was born, that the young John Edwards began experimenting with bestiality, voyeurism, exhibitionism and public masturbation at an early age.” Dr. O’Cyte explained that this is not an atypical pattern for men who ultimately can only find sexual arousal while engaged in increasingly bizarre fetishes. “Edwards has been sick for many years. The fact that once his wife’s cancer went into remission and he sought out physically and mentally sicker women for sexual pleasure, is strong clinical evidence that he does have ABD” Dr. O’Cyte added.

More and more details regarding John Edwards sexual past are being revealed almost hourly. An attorney who practiced law with Edwards while he was a trial lawyer specializing in class action suits, medical malpractice and product liability cases in North Carolina, speaking not for attribution commented during a long telephone interview that “John was always a little bit off, ah, sexually , I mean. I recall he became very excited during a case where he was representing a young woman with Polio, Trench Foot, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Narcolepsy and Chronic Yeast Infection. I do believe shortly after he took her as a client, he became, ah, intimate with her. After that I recall he was having an affair with a young woman who had the wrong leg amputated, Mumps, Toxic Shock Syndrome, Epilepsy and severe Prickly Heat. When he began leaving the office to have sexual relations with a woman stricken with Elephantitis, Halitosis, Psoriasis, Flatulence Profondo and Pink Eye, I had had enough. I found a new job and never spoke with John until years later.”

Several other women have made their affairs with Edwards public since the story initially broke. One of Edwards former lovers Sarah Jo Barsky, stated, “I met John after I retained him as my attorney for my Workers Compensation claim against my employer, Durkee Turkeys, in Salisbury, North Carolina. I had most of my left arm accidentally chopped off, I lost my right ear and, while in the hospital, I got Staph Infection, Gonorrhea, Oily Discharge, Restless Leg Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Hirsutism and Infracted Hemorrhoids. I also had the hiccups for three weeks. After we won the case, we became lovers. After a few months, he left me for a sicker woman. I hate him and hope his hair falls out and his wife kicks him the hell outta their house.”

Another woman alleging to have had an affair with Edwards while he was running for Senate in 1998, Chocolate Gazabos, told reporters in Las Vegas that she had met Mr. Edwards while in was in Las Vegas for a Trial Attorneys Fundraiser. “He was kinda cute in that pretty white boy sorta way. We had a few drinks but he did not seem all that interested in me. I happened to mention that I had, at that time, Crohn’s Disease, Toenail Fungus, Dandruff, Rectal Itch and Chicken Pox. Well, his eyes lit up, he put his hand on my thigh and that was the start to a very hot sexual relation that lasted for several months. Once my Chicken Pox cleared up, I never saw him again. I hope I gave it to him.”

As of this writing, Mr. Edwards has not refuted any of the allegations asserted by these and several other women and men. We will continue to report as developments arise in this breaking story.


Copyright TBC 2008 © All Rights Reserved

Friday, August 8, 2008

A BRIDGE TOO FAVRE

Another Sad Story That Might End Disastrously


(August 8, East Rutherford, NJ)  The stench from the chemical refineries, marshes, swamps and pure carbon monoxide is dizzying.  Giants Stadium sits on reclaimed swampland just across the river from the Greatest City on the Planet.  Actually, the city glow from NYC lends this part of New Jersey and eerie refractive luminescence at night, particularly when low level clouds hover atop the Metropolis.

The legendary Green Bay Packers coach, Vince Lombardi, was born and raised within miles of this location.  He was a Jersey guy no matter where his life, career or circumstances placed him.  There is something about this place, this densely populated sliver of northern New Jersey that constitutes the west bank of the mighty Hudson River.  Perhaps it’s the cliffs, the Palisades; remnants from glacial activity longer ago than the average mind can conceive. 

These river towns like Hoboken, Jersey City, West New York, are gritty, diverse, hard working class towns.  As one ventures further west by several miles, they find themselves in the Meadowlands.  Giants Stadium home of the New York Giants who, just happen to play in New Jersey.  The New York Jets are the foster team of Giants Stadium and they call this arena their home field as do the Giants.  The history of this stadium and how it came to be home for two New York City teams is boring, cumbersome, in some ways related to nefarious activities and, for all intents and purposes in 2008, irrelevant.

Literally everything that makes Giants Stadium what it is, is the polar opposite of Lambeau Field.  Green Bay, Wisconsin exists as far from NYC metro area as the Earth does from Pluto.  Maybe, further.  Now suddenly traversing that vast gulf comes a man who needn’t make the journey.   His legacy is cemented in NFL history, etched in stone over the course of a stellar, Hall of Fame career.

17 years ago a young man came out of Southern Mississippi.  A quarterback, not highly touted or drafted, he would go on from that auspicious point to become to become one of the greatest at his position, one of the most resilient competitors the modern NFL has ever seen.  A son of the South took to the “Frozen Tundra” of Green Bay legend and demonstrated skills, tenacity and strength of character as few before him and certainly, not many after him ever will, could or would.  In some profound ways Brett Favre redefined the game, his team and his position.  No matter what transpires come opening day and beyond, there will always be a lingering sadness seeing Favre in a NY Jets uniform.  He certainly has his work cut out for him.

His un-retirement cannot be about money, notoriety, reputation, statistics or achievement.  Brett earned all of that and more in his years with the Packers.  He earned it the hard way; through good seasons and bad.  Peaks, valleys, shadow and sunlight were as interchangeable in his career as they were in his life.  His spirit and grace was above and beyond what we have come to see in a professional athlete today.

Perhaps he views this sojourn as a challenge; his chance to resurrect a once proud franchise from the dumpster.  Indeed, he has found a challenge.  Also, he will be in and on hostile territory.  More people live in 2 NYPD precincts than in all of Green Bay, Wisconsin.  The biggest most aggressive media market on the planet is salivating, waiting anxiously for the great Brett Favre to fizzle, fade or simply not live up to his past.  Cheese is not made in North Jersey or New York City; characters and careers are broken, pounded into slivers of yesterdays that are tossed about by the swirling winds so familiar to this piece of the east coast.

Not since Joe Namath came to this franchise in 1965 and took them to legendary fame in Super Bowl III have the Jets had a truly marquee quarterback. But, that was then, this is now. Welcome to New York Mr. Favre, and, from the immortal Chairman of the Board better known as Frank Sinatra, from our regional anthem, “if you can make it here you’ll make it any where.” It’s up to you Brett. You just better have some real, real thick skin.

Copyright TBC 2008 © All Rights Reserved

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

FROM THE HANOI HILTON TO PARIS HILTON:

JOHN McCAIN’S STRANGE ODYSSEY

(August 5, Bloat, IA) Perhaps Jerry Garcia and The Grateful Dead said it best decades ago in their classic song “Truckin’”, in the line, “...what a long strange trip it’s been.” John McCain today is simply not the John McCain the nation came to respect, admire and trust. Certainly, none of us retain all the characteristics, traits and principals we held in our younger days but few men have made such a public, pathetic departure from “then” till “now”.

Those among us old enough to remember the Viet Nam war and the black and white Huntley Brinkley Report starting each nightly newscast with casualty and KIA counts, also recall the images of men held as POW’s emerging from military aircraft on American soil. Their wives and children dashed wildly towards each of them as they proudly exited the plane, saluted smartly, shook hands with the top brass present and stepped onto the tarmac. John McCain was among them. Shot down, injured, tortured, held in solitary confinement and further tortured, existed in the infamous “Hanoi Hilton” for years. As a person, as a man, one must contemplate the enormity of his courage, faith and grit. Could I have done it, one might ask. Not many could or can. He did and served out his military career in the Navy moving into politics after he retired honorably.

For nearly a quarter century he has served in the united States Senate; his legislative record is not overly remarkable however, he was always known for his determination and commitment to that which he believed. He earned his “Maverick” label by not towing the GOP line and, in 2000, might have been elected president had he not confronted the vile, vicious Bush / Rove political destruction machine. Now he’s back at it again. He is not the McCain of 2000. Actually, according to some of his closest friends in the Senate, he is a stranger. Seemingly, with each passing day he is getting stranger still.

What drives a man like this? It is most likely a complex weave of ambition, ego, good intentions, a sense of destiny and a myriad of other personality, neural variables some of which he himself might not be able to articulate. Passion and fire do not diminish easily nor quietly particularly in a man such as John McCain. It is always a sad sight to witness a warrior who remains in the arena past the time they should have exited while at the apex of their career. Reputation intact, they walk away from the fights and skirmishes and become iconic, respected elder statesmen in their field of endeavor. Muhammad Ali did not need to fight the young Leon Spinx. He had a long and legendary legacy firmly implanted not just in boxing but in American history. Ronald Reagan did not need to serve out his second term while in the grasp of Alzhiemic deterioration. John McCain does not have to engage in this battle. But, for whatever reasons, circumstances or motives, he has.

Sadly, as he claws his way through his last real battle, his final campaign he has diminished himself and forever added damaging paragraphs to his obituary. Surely, he is a victim of his staff, handlers and other political flacks who have invested in what they are banking on as a winner. Despite taking poor advice or perhaps actually believing his cause to be so true, that destiny has propelled him to this point, he is accountable for how his campaign functions. Not many would ever have imagined that he would be associated with “the low road”. But he has. He actually seems more than willing to navigate on that low road for the next 89 days in the hope, or, maybe, belief, he will prevail.

Maybe he feels a sense of desperation, an acute ache that tells him that his goal may be beyond his reach. Desperation, as an emotion and motivation is a dangerous state. He may have miscalculated, his internal compass may be off. He probably did not expect to face the adversary he does. The contrasts between McCain and senator Obama could not be any starker, obvious and glaring. Clearly his challenge has been monumental: how to wage a presidential campaign against the first Black presumptive nominee in the general election. Do you kick the door in or walk tepidly on politically correct eggshells? Should the McCain biography trump Obamamania? A political campaining quandary like no other before it. Obviously, “damned the torpedoes!” is his adopted strategy necessitating the use of tactics he would have mocked and shunned years ago. That is the heart of the warrior who stays too long, who misjudges the times, tempo and temperament of a voting population being crunched from every direction and extraordinarily tired, disgusted and sickened by what the current lunatic in the White House has perpetrated the last seven plus years. McCain’s lifetime of hard earned eggs have been precariously placed in a very fragile basket.

The fact that a vapid pseudo-”somebody” can actually launch TV commercials against “the white haired dude” is proof positive just how far McCain has allowed his campaign to stray. Paris Hilton is one of the many media created “celebrities” that our culture adores while the issues that should be at the forefront of every American’s minds are relegated to the back burner. Apathy is a malignant force in a democratic republic such as the United States. The fact that more Americans know who Paris Hilton is than who is our Secretary of State does not bode well for us as a Nation. MOre Americans “vote” for American Idol morons than for President.

Meanwhile, back in the real, present reality, we are waging war on at least two fronts, our economy is teetering on a full blown depression, unemployment is at a six year high, gasoline at an all time high, groceries have increased by 400% since George W. Bush took office and our society appears to be more anxious to see photos of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s twins than give a moments thought as to who will be our next President. More Americans live without health insurance than voted for Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama combined in the Democratic primaries. The Bush / Cheney Iraq war has lasted longer than World War II, a war waged globally against a powerful Axis of nations-states while we remain in a stalemate with primitive, ragtag, zealots once referred to as “dead enders’ by Donald Rumsfeld. He’s gone but they are still at it. What is wrong with this picture? What is wrong with us? How have we collectively permitted our government to become so useless, inept and criminally negligent? The Senate, the House of Representatives, the FBI, CIA, NSA, DOD and many others did not even see the attacks of September 11, 2001 coming? George W. Bush was presented with a National Intelligence Briefing entitled “Bin Laden Determined To Strike in United States” four weeks prior to the attacks and he invades Iraq? Wow. How far adrift we have gone.

If the issues and challenges we face as a nation were not so profound - epic - this would all be comedic. A trust fund whore running TV commercials against a Presidential candidate? A Presidential candidate that does not know what countries exist and where on the globe they are located versus an opponent who is a freshman Senator? Truth is stranger than fiction. Reality is harder to handle than “infotainment”.

God bless America...please.

Copyright TBC 2008 © All Rights Reserved