Thursday, July 10, 2008


FBI Also Considers Charges

July 10, Washington, DC) The top Secret Service Agent charged with protecting presidential candidates, Vernon Dahnck, told reporters at a Treasury Department press conference that, “Protecting our presidential candidates is a sacred duty. We consider the recent televised threats to Senator Barak Obama to be serious. We are announcing today the issuance of an arrest warrant for Reverend Jesse Jackson. His threat to maliciously castrate Mr. Obama has to be taken as a legitimate threat.”

Agent Dahnck was referring to the remarks made by Jess Jackson prior to an interview with FOX News. Allegedly, Jackson claims to have “not realized” that the microphone was “on”. While speaking candidly, in a whisper, to another guest prior to the televised interview, Jackson said he should”cut” Obama’s “nuts off”. Jackson, a former civil rights activists, self appointed voice of black folks, political agitator and overall freeloader also said that some comments Obama delivered on Father’s day were “talking down” to black people.

The candid, off camera exchange was televised by FOX last night at the beginning of the Bill O’Reilly Show. Since made public, Jackson has taken resounding, harsh criticism. Rebukes from all sides of the political spectrum, punditry and particularly African-American leaders in the DNC and beyond, have unanimously expressed anger and outrage over Jackson’s comments. His own son, a Democratic Congressmen from Chicago, Jesse Jackson, Jr., repudiated the remarks his father made.

Reverend Jackson himself has spent the past 20 hours heavily engaged in a major “damage control” effort. After his long, often controversial career in public life, it appears at the moment he has few friends or supporters who have not distanced themselves from him. At this particular point in history, just as Senator Obama is poised to be the first African American presidential candidate of a major party, with a good chance of actually becoming our next President, most African American politicos, religious leaders, and community elders have decided to “steer clean of that old fool”, said the Reverend Dr. Burton Silus Meadows of the First A.U.M. Church of His Savior’ Son in Harlem, NY. Mr. Jackson has offered a public apology to Senator Obama which, Obama says “has been accepted.”

According to high ranking sources in the Justice Department, FBI Director Robert Mueller has discussed the legal components of possible charges his agency could bring against Mr. Jackson. This same source, speaking not for attribution continued, “Heck, the FBI has wanted to nail this guy’s ass since J. Edgar Hoover’s time. This would be a real feather in our hat”.

Copyright 2008 TBC © All Rights Reserved

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