GOP Candidates Show Confusion;
Walk fine line between Glee & Concern
Des Moines, IA (Nov. 6, 2007, TBC Exclusive) In the wake of the dramatic “Polygraph Challenge” issued by an anonymous financier to the democratic presidential candidates, those vying for that office on the GOP side have been remarkably quiet. They seem apprehensive in offering their comments regarding the “Challenge”. Some pundits have speculated that the republican candidates are worried that they may soon find themselves facing the same predicament as their democratic rivals. “If they gloat over this thing they may find it backfiring. It would not take much for some wealthy individual to lay down a similar gauntlet to the republicans”, said former Reagan Administration Communications Director, Ed Rollins.
These concerns where echoed in various ways by operatives from each of the GOP candidate’s camps. Actually, some have expressed a sense of resignation, saying that it is “just a matter of time” before they have to confront a similar challenge. “This can get awful sloppy real quick”. said a top advisor to Mitt Romney, adding “If lie detectors are going to be used in presidential campaigns, how are we supposed to function”?
This question is being asked by politicians of every stripe across the country. While they wrestle with the concept, public support for candidates being subjected to questioning under polygraph is rapidly catching on. A telephone poll conducted by InSight, Inc. and the Wall Street Journal yesterday showed an overwhelming number of respondents, 87%, were in favor of having candidates take lie detector tests administered by independent or neutral parties. This level of consistency held across all demographic lines including race, gender, income and party affiliation. “They have brought this on themselves”, said Jeanette Furpo from suburban Chicago. Mrs. Furpo added that “since we have been lied to for so long about such gravely important matters, we should have some sort of proof that candidates seeking our votes are telling the truth”.
While the voting public may be excited about seeing candidates take lie detector tests, political scientists, consultants and officials from both major parties, are not as fond of the idea. Dr. Norman Hale Splain, head of the Political Studies Department at North Central Canyon State University in Nampa, Idaho said “we have a democratic process that has stood the test of time for hundreds of years. It used to be that American’s could sense when they were being lied to. Actually, it was not until they realized that they had been lied to did they begin to realize that they should have known they were being lied to all along. It was basically after Viet Nam that the public came to grips with the fact that their government could, would and had lied to them”. Former Kansas Senator and GOP presidential candidate in 1996, Bob Dole commented, “ah…lie detectors? That makes no sense. What exactly are they trying to detect”?
A small minority of commentators not only embraced this idea but propose taking it a few bold steps further. Gillian Raye Snodgruss from Planned Parenthood stated “Every republican office holder should not only be put under oath and hooked up to a polygraph, they should all be asked questions in a public forum and stoned to unconsciousness if they lie”. Larry “Slug” Ramson, co-founder of ‘Screw the World’, a right wing political action committee said, “ hail, they should all be beaten up, given truth serum, stripped naked and deprived of food, water, sleep and toilet privileges. I bet they’d start singing like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir when they was asked questions under them there conditions”.
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