Friday, September 28, 2007


Baltimore, MD: Earlier tonight on the campus of Morgan State University, a most unusual event was held with the lofty, if not laughable, title of The All American Presidential Candidates Forum. Being conducted on the campus of a historically, predominately black university, hosted by Tavis Smiley with a panel composed of a black, a Puerto Rican and a Black Puerto Rican journalist, the concept seemed to be to appeal to minority voters. This “All American” Forum consisted entirely of Republican Presidential hopefuls and, at best, the second and third tier candidates only. After some opening digs at Rudy Guiliani, Mitt Romney, John McCain and Fred Thompson for being “no-shows”, this intense and lively exchange of views began.

For some reason known only to himself and perhaps two or three others, Mr. Smiley began the Forum with a quote from the latest book by Dr. Cornell West. For those unacquainted with Dr. West, the quote was inane and irrelevant, for those familiar with him, it was simply more of his usually gibberish interpreted as some profound truth. Perhaps a presidential debate addressing the issues of the “black and brown” communities would not be necessary if not for the Dr. Cornell West’s of the world. He is among that elite and oh so useless class of “Professional Blacks” whose only notoriety is in being black, Ivy League educated and employed. His ilk make their livings off the “black community” and the “plight of black America”. Dr. West is no more familiar with the inner workings of the urban black community than George Wallace ever was and has about an equal amount of utility to it as did Governor Wallace. He, with his retro- 60’s afro and black silk throat scarf resembled Liza Minelli on a bad hair day. Perhaps even an obese, incontinent, babbling, drugged-up, has-been like Liza is more in touch with the “black” community than pompous, condescending, affirmative-action produced Dr. West.

One of the most notable features of the night, aside from the complexion of the panel and audience, was the stunning ignorance, incompetence and idiocy of the candidates. A viewer could not help but marvel that any of these men had ever held a job at Jiffy-Lube let alone have been voted into elected office. Some were more distinguishable in their ineptitude than others.

Perhaps the dimmest bulb in this cheap, short circuited chandelier was California Congressman, Duncan Hunter. When not fumbling for an inane response to a question he looked as if he was passing a kidney stone. His lone argument for supporting his candidacy for the Presidency appears to be that he can say the word “barrio” many times, usually in sentences in which it has no proper usage. Somehow, ole Duncan is hard to picture as the crusading, neighborhood savior of the “barrio” he claims to have been in his young days as a lawyer. Bubba the Love Sponge is more articulate on matters of public policy than Duncan Hunter. At least a large viewing audience had the chance to see just how stupid this man is.

The standout candidate of the night (which is not saying much at all) was undoubtedly, Congressman Tom Tancredo of Colorado. He produced the most lucid, sensible answers and clearly evoked the loudest positive audience responses of the night (seriously). His tough anti-immigration stance was very popular with the crowd and, in many respects he appeared to be the most well informed, relaxed and well spoken of this pathetic group.

Former United Nations Ambassador and perennial-negroe-candidate-at large-for-any office, Alan Keyes, was nothing if not entertaining. Though a bit nasally, Keyes delivered his answers in Baptist preacher-like cadence in the alto range of Edith Bunker. His response to virtually every question was basically redundant but, passionate. The family is the answer, amen.

Ron Paul, befuddled Texas Congressman, had an enthusiastic, vocal group of supporters present. He stuck to his stanch Libertine philosophy beyond the point of amusement. At one point he appeared to be the wicked witch of the west minus black cape and pointy hat.

Sam Brownback, Republican Senator from Kansas. Now, here is one dynamic, telegenic, brilliant candidate. Brownback, who eerily resembles a pale hedge hog, was less coherent in his thoughts and words than Teddy Kennedy after a nine martini lunch, a panty raid and a keg. Brownback and Hunter were almost evenly matched in their abject lack of intelligence, shallowness of thought, vapidity of ideas and overall idiocy.

Mike Huckabee shouldn’t even bother. No civilized western nation will ever elect president a man named HUCKABEE. It just won’t happen. His genial Southern Baptist earnestness is appealing, he could be an effective photo lab technician at WalMart but should simply go back to Arkansas and fish.

Perhaps the candidates were simply in over their collective heads, rendered moronic by the insightful, penetrating questions from the panel. Pulitzer Prizes must be available on e-bay. That is the only way possible Cynthia Tucker of the Atlanta Journal Constitution could have gotten one. Her questions were more appropriate to a debate in 1967 rather than 2007. Ray Suarez from NPR must have thought he was interviewing for a job at BET News while Bill O’Rielly confidante, Juan Williams appeared to be even dumber than he sounds on radio.

This was basically not simply a waste of time but also an embarrassment. It was embarrassing to watch these buffoons struggle to answer childish questions from village idiots with degrees in journalism and full time jobs. It was no wonder that the only Republican candidate's (with a chance of winning) thus far actively running for President decided to take the night off to bowl, kiss ass, get a divorce or have their teeth cleaned.

Who exactly is Tavis Smiley, anyway?

Copyright © 2007 TBC All Rights Reserved

No comments: