NEW OBAMA AD AS RESPONSE TO McCAIN “CELEBRITY” AD

McCain Linked To “Dolly” and “Maude”


(July 30, NY, NY) Democratic presidential presumptive nominee, Barak Obama, tonight released a new 30 second television commercial as a direct response to his republican’s rival that was released earlier today. The McCain ad features footage from the Illinois Senator’s recent speech he delivered before a throng of 200,000 cheering Germans. McCain had been harshly critical of Obama’s foreign trip which drew considerable media coverage as he travelled from visiting with our troops in Afghanistan and Iraq, to meeting the leaders of several important Middle Eastern and European nations.

The ad approved for airing by McCain also compares the status of Senator Obama to that of a “celebrity” comparable to Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton, two vapid second tier celebrities whose images also appear in the commercial with Obama’s. Many have been critical about the ad saying it was “low road politics” and, had “racial overtones, negative racial overtones”. The top campaign strategist for the Obama camp, Dave Axelrod said “We will not let this stand. We will react swiftly, aggressively and truthfully.” The Madison Avenue ad agency Dire, Filch and Zagnaught reportedly produced the Obama ad in less than three hours.

The Obama ad compares John McCain to addled, half-witted, long forgotten, washed up, senile, sputtering celebrities from the middle of the last century, Carol Channing and Bea Arthur. Channing, known primarily for her role as Dolly in the Broadway musical “Hello, Dolly” became somewhat of a buffoon, clownish figure after her Broadway career ended. Bea Arthur is best known for the TV character Maude she played in the 1970’s sitcoms. Arthur known for her mannish voice, gruff demeanor had a long distinguished Broadway career before finding real fame on TV. She last appeared in “Golden Girls”.

The commercial itself is 30 seconds and shows clips of Channing and Arthur as the various characters they played and images of them now, confined to rolling commodes and basically incoherent. Next several photos of McCain from his days as a Navy Pilot rapidly progress to photos of him today, at 71 years of age falling asleep while giving a speech to the Commercial Whaler’s Association Annual Blubber Fest. The narration accompanying these images is that of a young woman saying “They were all celebrities once. They all had talent, ambition and drive. They were also young. Now, they still seek the limelight and want more glory days. They are also old. Can we really afford to elect a tired, confused old man to be our next president?” Immediately after the narrator quiets, Obama’s voice is heard saying the obligatory remark, “I am Barak Obama and I approved this message”.

Those who have seen this response ad say that it is appropriate but are quick to point out that McCain maintains as vigorous a campaign schedule as does the 46 year old Obama. This ad is scheduled to appear in 17 major media markets on Friday, August 1.

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McCAIN MEETS WITH DALAI LAMA

(July 25, Aspen, CO) By any objective standards, presumptive GOP presidential candidate, Arizona Senator, John McCain had an abysmal week on the campaign trail. While he toured a Pennsylvania grocery store, swapped tales of urinary incontinence stories with 84 year old former President George H. W. Bush in Maine and ate bratwurst with some of the powerhouse business magnates in Columbus, Ohio, his democratic opponent, Barak Obama was on a whirlwind tour from Southeast Asia to London. The contrasting images alone were enough to make even the staunchest of McCain’s supporters and friends cringe.

In between his stops in out of the way parts of the country, he also managed to get caught up in a rewrite of recent history while being interviewed by Katie Courac of CBS News. “He’s starting to make Bob Dole look like a genius”, commented one GOP political operative. According to several of his closest, most trusted advisors, McCain has considered having his wife appear topless at all future campaign events. Mrs. McCain’s thoughts about this remain unknown.

This afternoon in Aspen, Colorado, the bumbling candidate is meeting with the Dalai Lama. McCain has called him “a transcendent national role model.” The simple fact of this incongruous event and location is disturbing in its own odd way, a way that seems to have come to define his dissembling campaign.

While traveling earlier today to Aspen, McCain with a fully clothed Mrs. McCain at his side met with the 3 reporters that cover him. The 71 year old senator did not look well. When asked about his health he smiled, stifled a belch and said that “Some bratwurst gives me gas. Also, my friends, I had several large bowls of sauerkraut soup, some schnitzel and forgot to take my Milk of Magnesia.” He then smiled and began taking more questions from the one reporter who remained sober on the flight.

McCain seemed to bristle when Senator Obama’s trip was mentioned and became visibly agitated for a brief moment before regaining his composure. His wife, Cindy, gave him a sedative and laxative cocktail and McCain rapidly appeared more focused. “Listen, my friends, I know what the transcendent mission of our time is and it has nothing to do with giving speeches in Germany. I’ve been to Germany. I have toured the world many times my friends and I know the world. From Czechoslovakia to Upper Volta, Corpus Christi and Burma, I have met with people, dealt with world leaders and have the experience, judgment and know-how about virtually every issue that means anything to anyone, anywhere, my friends. I helped knock down the Berlin Wall. I’ve held Yugoslavia together for many years and now, today, I will meet with a great spiritual leader. Dolly Parton is important to the people of Tibet and others too. I have always admired Dalai Lama and to meet with him will be an honor. I think Dooly Madison and I will have a very productive meeting as long as they don’t serve any damned bratwurst.”

The addled McCain then excused himself saying if he did not reach the toilet very quickly every one on that plane will have “a very bad trip, my friends. If I’m not back in an hour, send someone to get me and remind me which Dalai, Dolly or Dildo I’m supposed to meet in Aspen.”

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OBAMA TOURS WAR ZONES, MIDDLE EAST

McCAIN TOURS MAINE

(July 22, Kennebunkport, ME) Having begun a whirlwind overseas trip that has seen him visit with heads of state, prominent politicians, heads of state, government ministers as well as our own military troops and command on the ground, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee has garnered a great deal of media attention where ever he has spent time. His trip began in Afghanistan where he met with President Hamid Karzi before spending time with US military personnel. Obama next visited Iraq, received a personal helicopter tour with the leading US commander there, General David Petraus and now Obama is in the Middle East where his high level meetings will continue across the region.

Meanwhile, his likely rival GOP candidate John McCain spent time in Maine, at Walker Point, the vacation estate of the Bush family. There, he met with George H.W. Bush, the 41st President of the United States and father of the current hapless president. The contrasts couldn't be any starker.

As McCain was making highly critical statements regarding Obama’s tour, the Arizona Senator was once again demonstrating his geopolitical acumen. McCain expressed concern for potential troubles along the “Pakistan – Iraq border.” Since Pakistan and Iraq do not share a common border, it appears that the only candidate with the “experience, judgment and knowledge” of the world continues in his effort to redraw the world map. Last week McCain expressed his grave concerns for Czechoslovakia, a country that has not existed in almost 16 years. To his credit Senator McCain did express his deep concern for what he calls “the transcendent mission of our time defeating radical Islamo-Fascist's. My friends, these terrorists would destroy all the lobsters in Maine because, ah…frankly…they hate their way of life…I mean, our way of life. They just don’t like Americans or lobsters” The elder Bush, standing at McCain’s side, seemed somewhat confused but was amiable. He agreed with McCain’s assessment adding, “We can’t have it. Not terrorists or, ah... and lobster. No sirree. And, by golly, lobster terrorists would be bad…bad, for everyone”. These incoherent statements were met with tepid applause by the crowd of 9 that had gathered.

Half way across the world, after leaving Afghanistan, Obama was meeting with the Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and US Ambassador Ryan Croker. They seemed to agree in principal about establishing a “time frame" for US troop withdrawals. According to insiders, lobster was not a topic of discussion.

Obama then met with the King of Jordan, Abdullah II before departing for Israel where he will continue to have high level talks and will focus, on this phase of his week abroad, on the Israeli Palestinian conflict. Senator Obama will also visit France and England before concluding his trip.

Senator McCain’s mounting problems appear to be a combination of being so closely aligned with the imbecilic, maniacal George W. Bush and his failed policies, misinformation, chronic confusion and a willingness to forget what he said about a particular issue one day only to make a contrary statement on the same issue the next. A mind is a terrible thing to waste and, John, a memory is a terrible thing to loose.

Long gone is the McCain of 2000; the maverick on the Straight Talk Express. Now, it often appears as if he belongs on a jitney bus heading for a Keno game in Vegas.

Link on post title for permalink:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/22/us/politics/22assess.h

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THE WEEK THAT WAS: THE BLOG THAT WASN’T

AND WHAT A WEEK IT WAS

(July 21, Various locations, USA) There are some weeks that provide much grist for the mill, material for the blogger. Last weeks was one such week and, for a variety of reasons, serious and trivial, The Brooding Cynyx were silent. More accurately, we were silenced. Circumstances, some beyond our control, others of our own making, resulted in not a single Cynyx posting from July 11 until July 19. That was a long time for us to be quiet.

Some of the Cynyx have taken it on the chin recently and, by virtue of how we function, collectively we were all rendered silent. Perhaps some of the adversity, bad luck, technical difficulties of the last 5 months or so culminated last week. We were sorry to have missed just an eventful stretch of time.

So as a public interest and to shut up some of the more restless Cynyx, below are a few of the posts that Might have been.

We would have written of the passing of a truly remarkable man as he was laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. The headline would have been:

A MAN, HIS MIND AND MILLIONS OF HEARTS

We would have recognized the remarkable accomplishments of Dr. Michael DeBakey. His innovations in cardiothoracic surgery are far too long to list here. He not only basically invented open heart surgery; he literally developed most of the equipment that made it possible. A death that should have been noted by every living American, was a lesser story than the passing of former White House Press Secretary, Tony Snow.

Tony Snow had a career as a talented, respected journalist and commentator in print, radio and on TV until he decided to become a flaky, a political hack and the mouth piece for the most awful president this country as ever known.

Of course increasingly more befuddled GOP presidential candidate, John McCain spent last week sticking his foot in his mouth so often it was amazing he retained the ability to have his head up his ass simultaneously. He just gets better by the week.

As Democratic presumptive presidential nominee, Barak Obama prepared for a tour of Afghanistan, Iraq to visit with our troops and commanders, his itinerary has him traveling to many other important Middle East countries to meet heads of state. That seemed to piss John off but, gaffe on he did.

A headline that would have been:

OBAMA BEGINS TRIP IN AFGHANISTAN
MCCAIN CONCERNED ABOUT CZECHOSLOVAKIA

If Senator McCain is going to hold up his broad, vast intimate knowledge of geopolitics, he ought have been aware that Czechoslovakia has not existed in 15 years, give or take. And, if John wishes to play down the issue of his age, a comment such as “I am now learning how to get on the Internet” should not have been uttered. We’ll leave McCain alone for now with just two final words: Phil Gramm.

The inflammatory, ill-conceived, allegedly “satirical” cover of the “New Yorker” magazine would have been commented on. We just cannot provide any examples of what the possible Brooding Cynyx headline would have been. It’s old news and, the Cynyx were all over the field with this one.

In retrospect, perhaps it is a small blessing that we were absent for that nine day stretch. We needed to tend to some things. We have lost family and friends, servers, routers and patience recently. We have been hit by lightening, storms, floods, and illness. Some of us have had to contend with more than others but, a collective time out, while not pre-planned, just seemed appropriate. These may sound like hollow, lame excuses but, trust us kind reader, they are not.

Certainly, not all the Cynyx were facing the same degree of crisis, malfunction, calamity, constipation, parole violations, marital problems or technical failures. The least impacted among us took the time out for some serious drunkenness, debauchery and pedicures. Don’t worry; they will have their days too.
One of the brighter elements of the past week as celebrated by the head of BGE and a pseudonymous Cynyc, was the arrival of the atlantic hurricane season. Enough tropical depressions matured into named storms to have the folks at ASSPAC in Moss Point, Mississippi and every BGE owned casino, gaming center and brothel working overtime. The action was fast and furious, there were winners and losers but, that’s why it is called ‘gambling’.

The Brooding Cynyx have returned to full operational mode. Our post addressing the latest CNN bullshot no doubt proves that some of us are back to full Cynyc stride.

From all of us to all of you, we thank you for your patience and loyalty. You know, such as do we, sh*t happens. It what you do with it that makes the difference.

The Brooding Cynyx

ps: Without unprecedented group discipline, this might have gone on for thousands and thousands of words.


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CNN: RECLAIM YOUR SENSES

(July 20, Harlem, NYC) Poised as our country is today, on the threshold of electing a Black man to the Presidency of the United States, the once respected Cable News Network (CNN) has again demonstrated their ignorance, poor judgment and lack of creativity. For months now, CNN has been vigorously promoting their upcoming “Groundbreaking Documentary” entitled ’Black in America’. This 2 part program is scheduled to be broadcast this coming Wednesday and Thursday evenings.

As a prelude, last night the kickoff event for this crap was a ‘forum’ or ‘discussion’ hosted by Soledad O’Brien - who also hosts the documentary - called ‘Reclaiming the Dream.’ If that tripe is in any way representative of the big premiers of their “groundbreaking” work, it should be avoided by all thinking Americans of every color, gender, age or politics. CNN has managed to have the old standard racial debates from the 1960’s and 1970’s. The tired, worn rhetoric is the same; only the players have changed. The cast of character assembled for this waste of time are the “professional blacks’, their jobs are apparently just ‘being black.’ Whether affirmative action assisted them academically is irrelevant. What these folks have chosen to do is make a living on ‘being black.’

They write books, hold academic positions, usually in “African American Studies” often in prestigious universities and blather on about what the black ‘community’ needs to be doing about this issue or that. These men and women are a disgrace to the character, courage, intellect and vision of Dr. Martin Luther King and every other ‘Negro’ who actually did something pro-active.

The arrogance, pomposity and shear egotism of these professional blacks is not only insulting to us all; it is detrimental in reality. But, it must be good work if you can get it. It must be nice to get grants and endowments, notoriety and pseudo-celebrity just for being black. As a professional black you write papers, articles and op-eds on all you know about various black social problems, rap music, and a host of other ills that they make their livings based on. It is known as exploitation; they,these professional blacks , are members of an exclusive, small fraternity. The one trait they each share in abundance is just how pitifully little they have any real knowledge of that which they so articulately pontificate.

Dr. Cornel West of Princeton is perhaps the best example of the pro black. Michael Eric Dyson, now at Georgetown University is close behind him. They can talk; no doubt about that! They can rattle off the whole list of things that plague their ‘community”, it’s etiology from 400 years of “outright’ oppression followed by another 200 years of Bull Conner and increasingly “subtle” forms of enslavement, oppression, pain and suffering. Smart pro blacks like these 2 blowhards wax eloquently, passionately and loudly about how this “collective memory” infects black America today. Interesting?

Rather than provide yet another soapbox for the pro blacks to spew forth their garbage, perhaps CNN could have had the vision to produce some other “groundbreaking” journalistic documentary.

Some of the titles they might have considered are “ Poor in America”, “ Just lost my job in America”. “Have no health insurance in America”, “Obese, uneducated, but I own an X-Box and cell phone in America.” As if all the ills of black America are confined to that group; the thought is preposterous.

Theoretically, a much wider audience would have benefited from programs like “ Single mom in America”, “Unemployed, unemployable but it’s not my fault in America.” Poverty, unwanted pregnancy, lack of responsibility, education, self respect, parenting skills and all the other real and imagined wrongs in America are not exclusively black problems. The dissproportionality of the symptoms and history of the “Black Experience” in America, has been rendered flimsy psycho-babble, junk science and just plain old horse crap.

Every individual has to take a look within; no matter one’s color or ethnic legacy. Why is that considered condescending and inflammatory? How does a community do that collectively? Dialogue? Another commission, committee or study? How many years ago was The Million Man March? Wasn’t that touted as a catalyst for a national dialogue? Didn’t the pro blacks of those days proclaim that event as the first steps towards black responsibility and a colorblind society? Rhetoric and more rhetoric.

If suddenly all the problems ascribed to the black community was somehow magically vanquished over night, the users, exploiters and general self-important useless slimes like Cornel West and Michael Eric Dyson would find themselves out of work. If there were no more ‘African American Studies Programs” taught, these same clowns and their ilk would have to actually work for a living. It would be nice to see.

A GROUP CONSCIENCE NOTE FROM THE BROODING CYNYX:

Some of you will not take kindly to the above post written by one of our NYC based Cynyx who happens to be a black man. This is just the first installment in a series he will be writing that we feel is of sufficient importance it cannot be cast aside. We do not have any “Professional Blacks” as some of those named above; that is why we post it and imagine the flack we might receive from it. We’re all good with that.



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